About Me
I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.
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What to Do If Your Man’s Penis Is Too Big

For a woman, a big penis can be both a visual and a sensational turn on. However, many women find that a very long or thick penis can cause discomfort and even pain during sex. A long penis can hurt because it can hit the cervix during penetration, and a thick penis may feel like it’s stretching you too much. Below are three suggestions for dealing with both size issues.

1) Extended foreplay
As part of female sexual response, arousal brings with it physical changes that help deal with a bigger penis. The vagina can expand by up to 200 percent during sex, so size is seldom an issue unless a woman isn’t fully aroused. To accommodate an erect penis comfortably, some women need up to 20 minutes of stimulation. If you’re used to intercourse with a partner who has a small or medium-sized penis, you may have been able to comfortably have intercourse before you were fully turned on. If your partner is bigger, you may need to wait until you’re very aroused before moving to penetration. Also, anticipating discomfort causes your muscles, including your vaginal muscles, to tense up, making penetration more difficult. If he gives you a long, sensual massage before intercourse, it will help to relax your muscles and also turn you on.

2) Add lubricant
If you don’t already use lubricant during vaginal intercourse, now is the time to start. There are dozens of different brands of lube, and they all make sex more comfortable by making it more slippery. Some women say they don’t need additonal lube because they lubricate a lot on their own. However, if you’re having intercourse with someone with a big penis, using extra lubricant is always recommended. Experiment with a few different kinds to see if a thicker or thinner lube is best for you, and, if you’re prone to yeast infections, avoid lubricants with glycerin. Don’t forget that lubrication can come and go, so be sure to keep adding the slippery stuff as needed.

3) Sex positions
Sex positions are another way to deal with discomfort due to a partner who has a large penis. The best sex position will be one that allows you control over the depth and angle of penetration and offers as much movement as possible. Avoid positions that allow for deep penetration (e.g., rear entry) and favor positions that give you more control.

The woman-on-top position is a good one to try because it lets you control the depth of penetration. Have him lie flat on his back and crouch over him on your hands and knees while sliding him inside you. Move your hips in circular motions as you glide up and down, only taking as much of his penis as you can handle. Another position you can try is to have him sit on a chair with no arms. Then straddle his lap, facing either toward him or away from him, and use your feet and thigh muscles to pump away. If you do use a position that allows deep penetration, such as rear entry (doggy style) or man-on-top (missionary), remember that the farther apart your legs are, the deeper he can thrust, so keep your thighs together. Not only will it prevent him from plunging in too deep, it can also make for some amazing clitoral/penile friction.

During sex, tell him how you feel, what is uncomfortable, and what feels good. This doesn’t mean carrying on a full conversation while having sex; simple words, such as “deeper” or “not so deep,” “gently” or “harder,” “faster” or “slower,”are usually enough to get the point across and make sex more enjoyable for both of you.

To learn everything you ever needed to know about giving a man mind-blowing pleasure and how to be the best that he has ever had in his entire life, click here!




34 Responses to What to Do If Your Man’s Penis Is Too Big

  • This may be the best straight sex advice site I’ve ever seen. Well done. – Billy

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Being he “best straight sex advice site” is what I aim for. Thanks for saying I’ve succeeded.

  • miamioutdoors says:

    Good advice — from the woman’s point of view.

    On top, with control is good for the woman. It keeps the man from going deep with all he’s got– but both he and she are not experiencing what the long dong offers. Many women with experience really want the penitration sensation. With a long dong available– women should try to accommodate it– the vagina does stretch to take it all and the orgasms that result can be mind-blowing.

    But a word of caution. Hitting the cervex with the tip of the dick is an interesting experience for the man– but kicking the cervix aside or punching at it can be painful for the woman (although again, some come to desire the feeling). The pushing pulls on the legiments holding the cervex. In some cases the cervix gets under the glans and can really drive the man to new levels. It seems to depend upon how the cervix is positioned, and how much it withdraws normally with intercourse. Women with a cervix that is tipped (a normal variation) will experience a long dong differently than other women.

    Another observattion, after fifiteen or more minutes, or with multiple sessions in an encounter, the cervix can be roughened and it will bleed some, giving the spotting appearance of like a light period. I have never had a complaint about pain from this, although moving the cervix can leave a sensation (you hear about it in the phone call from the car on her way home). The bleeding can be disconcerting to the woman, if she realizes what it is. Otherwise she may think sex with the long dong is causing menstral bleeding (the common response).

    Experiences of a nine-inch dong with mostly petite women.

  • Jane says:

    This one really works! I’ve used it myself.

    Get one of those jelly-looking masturbation sleeves. They’re about four or five inch long looking tubes of squishy rubber, usually with texture on the inside, with some creepy looking mouth or butt at one end. Not the full “fleshlight” but the cheap kind you can get at an average sex shop.

    Get your boy hard (natch) and work it onto his cock. There should be holes at both ends, and you push it down all the way down until the head pops out the end, then down to the base. Depending on his length and the sleeve’s length, you should now have the bottom 1/4 to 1/2 of his dick covered with what is now your pussy bumper.

    Climb on. (This works better with penis recipient on top) You can now sit down on his cock with full force if you like, and while the “bumper” compresses, it also a) keeps some of him out of you and b) keeps the part of him that is out of you wrapped with tight, squishy texture that feels good.

    It really works!

    Also, while everyone’s experience is different, I have to disagree with the person above that getting your cervix whacked around doesn’t hurt. I have a cervix, and when it gets rammed with a particularly long cock, it does hurt.

    (example of the sort of sleeve I’m talking about at this url – store.babeland.com/men-sleeves-pumps/blossom-sleeve )

  • Wow! Great advice. One of my exes was extremely thick, and it seemed silly to complain to friends, “um, well, his dick is just too big.”

    Glad to know I wasn’t the only one in this predicament.

  • Who said size didn’t matter?

  • Rob says:

    Good article. I’m a man on the well endowed side (a hair under 8″ measured on top of the shaft by 5 3/4″ around). I’ve found, as you note, that women differ a lot in their reactions to this. It is sometimes a problem on deep penetration and requires real care. By contrast, some women really enjoy cervical stimulation and especially getting into those fornical areas. The main problem with being thick is that many women don’t handle it well orally. This can lead to being the recipient of non-enjoyable oral sex, but the main problem is that it can make a woman feel bad and really kill a mood. No fun at all as feeling good is the goal after all.

  • Tab says:

    I’d be interested in a follow up to “What to Do If Your Man’s Penis Is Too Big” for handling above average size anally.
    I have had and enjoyed anal sex with past lovers but with my current man it has been a major issue for me because of his extra size. On occasion I have been able to handle it long enough for him to orgasm but as for me the enjoyment is not there like it was in my past relationships.

  • nelia says:

    hi! i have a fiancee coming, he revealed that he has a 12″ cock when erected. i’m 5’3″ tall he is worried if i can take this size. what do u think? pls help me solve this, i love him!

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Nelia, with proper arousal, your vagina can stretch to accommodate virtually any penis size. Don’t attempt penetration until you’re very aroused and wanting him inside you. Get into the woman-on-top position because it lets you control the depth and force of penetration. Then, before inserting his penis, apply additional lubrication, such as K-Y Jelly or Astroglide (my favorite).

    Just follow the tips in this post, and you’ll be fine. Enjoy!

  • Omar says:

    How come at initial penetration it feels great and all for both partners, but after some time it just feels like a jar of mayonnaise?

  • Jone Hafen says:

    hi!,I like yourpost so much! share we chat more about your post on AOL? Looking forward to see you.

  • If your man’s penis is too big for you (I mean not slightly bigger… but big) the best ideea would be to break up with him.
    Let me tell you why ! He’s going to want sex from you alot (like every man) and he is not gonna be always carefull at your small vagina. He’s always gonna be frustrated he can’t f**k your brains out and will consider it’s your fault, not his.
    Hey, maybe I’ll blog about this myself, I’ve heard a few testimonials from some of my girlfriends.

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Recent Comments
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Depends on the woman.
  • Fox2: Would that be most probably wouldn’t feel it? I have seen you say elsewhere that less than 5″ means...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Some may, but most probably won’t. For some women in long-term relationships, penetration is...
  • Fox2: Not sure if commenting is working at the moment. Thanks but even though these positions will help maximise my...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: These positions help maximize what you have, whatever that is.
  • Fox: Would these positions help with a penis 4-4.5inches long and around 4inches around? Or do you need to be packing...
  • BOB: FUR
  • Svetlana Ivanova: If a woman doesn’t want to please the man she’s with, she’s with the wrong man.
  • Jane Doe: This article not only implies that all men want submissive partners, it tells women to take on a persona....
  • Svetlana Ivanova: It isn’t misogynistic at all. It’s realistic and sex-positive.