About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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sexual spanking

10 Tips for Adding Spanking to Your Sex Life

Erotic spanking is a mild for of BDSM, but you should still follow these ten “golden rules” to make sure it is fun for both of you.

Hand-to-bum contact, if you can pull it off without cracking up (heh, we said crack), is a great way to add some kinky flavor to your next sesh. It’s intimate, it’s saucy, and — when compared to, say, a whip or a flogger — it’s safe for newbies to try out. Also, one study found that it can actually bring couples closer. Now that’s something we can get behind (sorry…).

Try a few spanks during a particularly passionate bout of intercourse, or make spanking the main goal. If you’re keen on the latter, then follow these important guidelines: Read more

Why Spank… Or Be Spanked?

Sex toy guru Liv explains why couples should explore sexual spanking.

While we have a certain Mr Grey to thank for bringing spanking out of the shadows, it’s still considered a little taboo by many. Misconceptions about spanking being the trademark of your local dominatrix leave many believing that this erotic expression is a punishment, rather than the pleasurable and exciting encounter it can be. All you need is a few pointers. Read more

The Psychology of Domination and Submission

Domination and submission are coming into the mainstream and out in the open, which means that a lot of men and women must share these desires. What are the psychological underpinnings of domination and submission?

Has spanking gone mainstream? asks Katie Roiphe in a Newsweek cover story in response to all the hype around the Twilight fanfiction slash “mommy porn” bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey. Roiphe notes the coincidence of this trend of women eagerly consuming fantasies of submission at a time when women are “in hard economic terms” less subjugated or dependent by men than before. May it be “that power is not always that comfortable, even for those of us who grew up in it … that equality is something we want only sometimes and in some places and in some arenas …. that power and all of its imperatives can be boring”? Read more

Spank My Butt: Top 10 Amateur Spanking Videos

Erotic or sexual spanking is probably the most socially acceptable form of BDSM. In fact, it’s almost mainstream. Fleshbot has posted the top ten amateur spanking videos. If this looks like fun, but you haven’t tried it yet, my post Bottoms Up: How to Give an Erotic Spanking gives some pointers to get started.

We like big butts and we cannot lie. That’s why we have nothing but good thoughts about booty spanking during sex. A little discipline never hurt anyone, especially when it involves sexy women on their knees.

These couples know how to add a little kink to their sex lives, finding a happy medium between pleasure and pain. The women in these videos enjoy every moment of their painful punishment—almost as much as we do. Watch videos

Bottoms Up! How to Give an Erotic Spanking

Erotic spanking is the act of spanking another person for the sexual arousal or gratification of either or both partners. Spanking can be sexy, and a majority of women have fantasies about being spanked. Most men, too, find spanking a woman to be a strong sexual turn-on.

For a woman, the turn-on is not so much in the sensation of pain as it is in the feeling of helpless submission and vulnerability of being bent over her partner’s lap, the attention being paid to her behind (a primary erogenous zone), the feeling of a man’s hand warming her buttocks, and the anticipation of sexual pleasures to come. For a man, the arousing aspect of spanking is the feeling of control and power over his helpless lover, and the excitement of playing with her beautiful bottom, turning it pink and putting her in the mood for some hot, passionate sex. Continue reading

Why Do Women Prefer to Be Spanked?

As if we women weren’t complicated enough! Men are asking why the woman they’ve been treating like a princess suddenly wants to be treated like a whore in bedroom. Apparently, it all goes back to dear old Dad.

Many men have faced this as they’ve grown into a more sexually active lifestyle. The woman who you spent so much time fawning over, making feel special, and trying your hardest to respect and adore as much as necessary to be rewarded… now wants to be smacked… treated rough. The man taught to be The Moron.. Is now being asked to be The Jerk! Read more

One point that the author makes (which I made in a previous post) is one that men should keep in mind if they want to “make sense” of the women in their lives: “women crave arguments and drama.”

Recent Comments

  • Mixxxer: You nailed it! Exploring sex positions and allowing your partner to do it is a sense of intimate sexual...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: That is definitely on the small side.
  • Fox: Thanks. Would 4.25/4.5 inches be just too small/”is in yet?” for most women even with positions for...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: A woman should be able to feel five inches or more. Positions help, but it depends on the woman.
  • Fox: Is anything 5inches and over good then? I take it even positions for small penises wouldn’t help those...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Less than five inches is going to make a woman wonder if it is in yet.
  • Fox: Seems pretty clear that size does matter to most women! Guess those in the 7-9 inches range probably have what...
  • Jayne: For women loving women, and women loving their men, have you heard (and got to try) the InJoyUs? This is like...
  • manawa: yehh I NEED TO LEARN ALL THIS GREAT TIPS
  • deepak: Hi to all. We have been having this fun of threesome for quite a while now..at first my wife hasitated but...