About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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rough sex

A Beginner’s Guide to Rough Sex

Rough sex is now in the mainstream, but if you’re a beginner, Jenn Sinrich has some tips.

Sure, it might not be for everyone. But more women are in favor of rough, dominating, and submissive sex than against it. According to a study by the University of North Texas, 57 percent of sexually active ladies are turned on by the idea of forceful sex. “It all comes down to the fact that we want to be desired,” says Claudia Six, Ph.D., sexologist, relationship coach and author of Erotic Integrity: How to Be True to Yourself Sexually. And that’s totally natural and integral to a healthy, satisfying sex life, says Six. Read more

How to Get a Man to Dominate You in Bed

A reader asks porn star James Deen for tips on getting her boyfriend to dominate her in bed.

Any tips on getting someone to unleash and act more dominate during sex? I want my boyfriend to fuck like you, but I don’t think showing him your work and saying “be more like him” is a good idea. Read more

A Little Rough Sex?

Sarah Rae Vargas gives tips on how to explore BDSM without doing anything too painful or scary.

How to Dominate a Woman in Bed

Dominaning WomenThere are millions and millions of “nice guys” out there desperately seeking sex, and yet the most desirable women consistently end up in having sex with aggressive, dominant men, aka “bad boys.” Why do women want to be dominated in bed?  The desire to surrender, submit, and satisfy men sexually is hard-wired into  the female psyche. Women often talk about being “taken,” “possessed,” or “used.” Females have a primal urge  to “give” their bodies to males who are aggressive and strong enough to “take” them, meaning males who are aggressive and strong enough to also protect them. Continue reading

5 Bizarre Sex Tips

Nicole McEwen reveals five things that DON’T turn her on. Me either (except number three sometimes).

Women have sex in lots of ways… with strange partners, strange toys and in strange settings.

Here are 5 sex acts that may rev some women’s engines, but leave mine stalled:

Wearing furries is a perfectly natural sex activity. Call me crazy, but I’ve never had any fantasies about knocking boots with a Bengal tiger, hooting owl or grizzly bear. Though if a sexed-up bear tried to get in my pants, I just may seduce him long enough to skin his hide and make myself a nifty vest. Read more

It Hurts So Good: A Beginner’s Guide to Rough Sex

Why would someone want to have rough sex? There are several reasons why people enjoy rougher forms of sex play. Perhaps the most common is the extension of the dominance/submission role play that is inherent in sex, even in basic, “vanilla” sex. Some speculate that rough sex may also represent a psychological outlet for some people, perhaps by allowing them to release inhibitions or frustrations.

Finally, though people don’t usually associate pain with pleasure, it is well known that pain causes a rush of endorphins throughout the body. Many people feel a rush immediately after a painful sensation (largely due to the release of adrenaline) once they realize that there is no immediate danger. The removal of the “danger” aspect of pain’s source allows the body to sense the adrenaline coursing through the body as a pleasurable sensation. Because of this, pain inflicted during rough sex heightens the sexual experience. Continue reading

Recent Comments

  • Tamati: My honey and i have sex at least once a day on average and it amazing. We have been married for a little over...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Yes, the evolutionary theory is probably right. Human males don’t have bright colors or tail...
  • Danny: I love reading your stuff, and I definitely agree that size matters big time. Even though many women would...
  • Katie: Great article, this is exactly what I have been doing with my husband for years now. All massage’s with...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: More women than you might think actually measure a particularly large penis. That’s how they...
  • John Mode: Either women are very poor judges of how big an inch actually is, or they have very unrealistic...
  • Pillywiggins: I like a big cock and being fucked really hard and deep. I never really complain about dick size....
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Typically, the watching part is more of a turn-on for the man, who gets to see his wife experience...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: It should if the woman already has experience with big penises, and the man knows what he’s...
  • Astra Kiro: This feel good sensation applies to all women with men,even in first date circumstances?