About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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What Men Pay Prostitutes to Do

What do men pay prostitutes to do? It’s more than just sex, according to a former street prostitute.

When I worked as a street prostitute, men paid me to do things you’d never imagine — like pretend to be their girlfriend and take me on all-expense paid trips.


A Lexus stops. The guy is dark haired, maybe 40, a little too distracted for my comfort. I go with him to a room though I worry he is a nut. We get to some small room on the West side and his thing is making me wear a negligee and act like I enjoy it. Why does he pay for this? I don’t relish this silk, lace, oohing and ahhing routine but there is nothing perverted about it. You’d think he’d get a girlfriend. He says he’s single. He is a medical supplies salesmen and I let him pay me in syringes. Read more

Why Aren’t More Women Prostitutes?

Superfreakonomics authors Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner ask why more women aren’t prostitutes. I think their descriptions of LaSheena and Allie answer their own question.

Sure, authors Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner acknowledge, streetwalking is tough work. But being a high-end escort is big fun, just like being a trophy wife without the marriage. So why don’t more women do it?

In an excerpt from their new book Superfreakonomics, Levitt and Dubner profile two women. One, LaSheena, has “a beaten-down look in her eyes,” and makes her money stealing and turning tricks on Chicago’s South Side. She says prostitution “bothers me mentally,” and she’s not pulling down that much money either — street prostitutes in Chicago make about $350 a week. The other woman is Allie, an attractive blond who works about 15 hours a week having sex with men in her pretty bedroom for $500 an hour. Allie “genuinely likes the men who come to her” and “they treat her, in many ways, as men are expected to treat their wives but often don’t.” She’s also building on the entrepreneurial skills she’s learned as a prostitute by going back to school in economics. Life, for Allie, is good.

It’s so good, in fact, that “the less she works, the more she earns,” and she can charge ever-higher fees without scaring off clients. Levitt and Dubner write, Read more

The 7 Best Movies about Sex Work

From the most realistic to the hottest sex, Monica Shores summarizes the seven best movies about sex work.

Sure, you’ve seen Natalie Portman’s mild masquerade as a stripper in Closer, watched Melanie Griffith ditz around as a prostitute in Milk Money, and enjoyed the delightful cheesiness of Sandra Oh and Daryl Hannah in the absolutely fabulous Dancing at the Blue Iguana, but is that really satisfying your penchant for sex workers on celluloid? Here’s a handy guide for you to better navigate the wealth of sex work-centric films Hollywood has to offer. Read more

Women Who Pay for Sex

Nowadays, it’s not just men who pay prostitutes to have sex with them. Some women use the services of escort agencies and pay for sex instead of cruising bars and clubs trying to find men.

It’s not just men who pay prostitutes to sleep with them. For some women, paying for sex is more convenient than cruising bars and clubs trying to find men.

“They don’t want to be found out. They want to do something private – it’s their own world, a part of their life that they want to be secret.” Read more

Sex Workers Move from Craigslist

In an attempt to stamp out sex crimes, the advertising site Craigslist has changed its policy on ads in its Erotic Services section. However, the sex trade goes on – just not on Craigslist.

Craigslist made a splash last month when it announced a set of policy changes aimed at stamping out sex crimes facilitated through the Erotic Services section of its site. But sex workers and legal experts say the measures are likely to have scant impact on the shadowy world of online prostitution.

Following the initial report about the new policies, a reader who identified herself as a “working girl in San Francisco” told InternetNews.com that Craigslist is hardly the only game in town.

“Because of the new procedure on Craigslist, we are turning to other Web sites … to promote our services,” she wrote in an e-mail. “These sites are free and just as effective. I don’t believe that this change in Craigslist will do anything to affect the industry.” Read more

Sex with Prostitutes or Dates?

Evan Maloney gives the advantages and disadvantages of having sex with a prostitute compared to a date. Given the results of this survey, it’s a choice that men can’t afford to dismiss out of hand.

So I’ve been getting trickles of comments still for that post about sex with a prostitute being cheaper than sex with a date. Thus far the men who have been defending the “sex-with-a-prostitute” camp have been using two basic arguments of defence.

The first argument is that sex with a date might appear to be cheaper in the long run, because after a few dates you can just hang at home and order a pizza and have sex, but in the longer run it can be more expensive because divorce is so expensive these days.

The second argument is that sex with a prostitute is morally superior because a man is not pretending to want anything more than sex with a prostitute, whereas he might be pretending that a woman means more to him than just sex in order just to get sex.

Both of these arguments seem a little bit white-picket-fence pleasantwille kind of arguments to me, but if that’s the way society still rolls then I’m prepared to be given a heads-up here today. Read more

Everyone Pays for Sex, but How Much?

Everyone pays for sex, but how much? Nerve asked nine people to track their sex-related expenses for a month. For some of them, patronizing prostitutes would probably be cheaper.

How we spend our money says as much about our priorities as the people we choose to share a bed with, and often, those two decisions are hopelessly intertwined. Sex, dating and relationships are expensive: flowers, hairdos, clothes, contraceptives, lube, cabs, texts, dinners, (breakfasts?) — how much does it actually come to? Is being single really more expensive than being in a relationship? Are people who make $20,000 spending as much as those who make over a grand?

We asked nine people to spend one month diligently tracking every dollar spent in pursuit of sexual gratification — everything from trolling the bars to getting off solo to full-blown romantic intercourse. Some of the results were surprising, but numbers don’t lie, baby. Read more

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