About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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personal sex experiences

100 Things About Me Sexually

I posted my original version of this list almost four years ago. It was a snapshot of my sexual attitudes, feelings, and preferences at that point in time. Some of those have changed since then, however, so I decided to update my list.

  1. I lost my virginity when I was 15,
  2. But it wasn’t until my senior year of high school that I really started experimenting sexually.
  3. That’s when I had my first anal sex experience,
  4. And my first MFM threesome.
  5. I’ve slept in the nude off and on since I was a teenager.
  6. When I don’t, I wear panties.
  7. I go commando sometimes, but not very often.
  8. Same thing with going braless – once in awhile, but not very often.
  9. I feel really sexy wearing stiletto heels,
  10. But I don’t wear them often enough for them to be really comfortable. Continue reading

First-Time Sex: How I Lost My Virginity

I have already written about two of my personal sex experiences on this blog, My First Anal Sex Experience and My First (Surprise) MFM Threesome, but not about a major milestone in every girl’s life, losing my virginity. It seems a long time ago now, but it’s not something you ever forget.

After Christmas break of my freshman year of high school, a senior boy asked me out. I’ll call him “Jason.” Jason was good-looking and popular, and being asked out by him was a major boost to my self-esteem. I was embarrassed by my Russian accent  and still felt socially awkward and out of place. I even went by Lana back then, to seem more American.

Being asked out by a popular senior boy was also a boost in my status among my friends. They tried to get even by warning me that older boys expected sex from girls they dated.That did give me pause. I was no stranger to fooling around with boys, but my sexual boundaries didn’t extend that far. I had gone as far sexually as being felt up by a hand inside my panties, but up till then, only my bra had come off, never my panties. That would change soon. Continue reading

Bush or No Bush: That Is the Question

This past summer, porn star Sasha Grey appeared on Entourage, which seems to be a male version of Sex in the City. What set the internet abuzz was that Grey appeared naked with an, OMG, unshaven vagina. Opinion about her fashion statement was definitely divided.

Sasha Grey’s appearance on Entourage inspired my boyfriend to ask me to grow my own pubic hair out (which proves that some men take porn way too seriously).  I had only been completely bare down there for a few years, so going “natural” was no big deal to me. Apparently, we will all be going back to hairy vaginas because Cosmo has declared it to be the “in” sexy style down there for women.

I’ve since dumped my boyfriend. (Among his chief faults was that he thought that porn is an instructional guide. I’ll have my facials at a spa, thank you.) However, I’m thinking of keeping the bush. I must admit it’s nice to not having had to hack at it with a razor for the last couple of months, and, of course, if Cosmo is right, and hairy vaginas are “in,” I want to be stylish. Looking like a woman again instead of a prepubescent girl is nice, too.

So what do you think? Hot or not? Sexy or not sexy? Bush or no bush? Should I have dumped my new pubic hair style along with my boyfriend? Will having a hairy vagina keep me from finding a new and better boyfriend?

What Does Sex Feel Like for a Man?

One of my most popular posts, coming in at number ten, is What Does Sex Feel Like for a Woman? In that post, I try to describe what it feels like for a penis to enter you and move around inside. In a comment to that post, a male reader tries to do the same thing from the male perspective.

…  For me, the experience of sex begins in the mind, even before the first kiss that you know in advance will lead to intercourse. Your heart rate begins to speed up, you begin to feel the excitement in your veins, and your perineal muscles begin to tighten pleasantly. As you kiss and fondle, your penis erects, pushing hard against your clothing (and, for reasons I’ll explain in a moment, this is a sensuous and erotic thing in itself, for this man at least) and you want to take your clothes off. As far as I’m concerned, it’s more fun for me when my partner undresses me than when I do it for myself, though that has nothing directly to do with the sex.

When you’re both naked, then, your kissing and fondling intensifies, and so does the pressure building in your groin. The tightness spreads into the entire pelvic area but most of all is concentrated in the perineum and the sides of the testicles, along the lines of the seminal vesicles. You have an intense desire to thrust your penis into something soft (and this is a masturbation technique that many men use, instead of the penis-in-hand version). This stage requires a degree of self-control, since your partner’s pleasure depends on you postponing the penetration until she’s properly stimulated through foreplay. As far as possible I try and ensure my woman orgasms a couple of times during foreplay, so that she’s ready for what comes next. Read more

My First Anal Sex Experience

My posts about anal sex have always been among my most popular with readers, especially my post 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex. However, my own first-time anal sex wasn’t planned (at least by me) and didn’t follow the ten steps.

My first anal experience happened during my senior year of high school. My mother was out of town on a business trip, so my boyfriend came over that afternoon after school. We drank my mother’s vodka while we watched a movie. It didn’t take long for both of us us to get pretty drunk (which helped a lot for what was about to come). Soon, we had forgotten about the movie and were in my bedroom, stripped down to our underwear, making out. Continue reading

Recent Comments

  • Svetlana Ivanova: Depends on the woman.
  • Fox2: Would that be most probably wouldn’t feel it? I have seen you say elsewhere that less than 5″ means...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Some may, but most probably won’t. For some women in long-term relationships, penetration is...
  • Fox2: Not sure if commenting is working at the moment. Thanks but even though these positions will help maximise my...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: These positions help maximize what you have, whatever that is.
  • Fox: Would these positions help with a penis 4-4.5inches long and around 4inches around? Or do you need to be packing...
  • BOB: FUR
  • Svetlana Ivanova: If a woman doesn’t want to please the man she’s with, she’s with the wrong man.
  • Jane Doe: This article not only implies that all men want submissive partners, it tells women to take on a persona....
  • Svetlana Ivanova: It isn’t misogynistic at all. It’s realistic and sex-positive.