About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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orgasm

A 100-Year-Old Sex Therapist Explains Why Millennials Aren’t Orgasming

Sex therapist Shirley Zussman reveals the most common problem with modern sexual relationships.

TIME sat down recently with 100-year-old sex therapist Shirley Zussman to discuss what has changed about sex over the past millennium. She is warm, fuzzy, and wonderful and clearly knows her shit.

“There’s so much less actual physical connection, so much less touching. There’s less talking, less touching, less looking. I mean, people get pleasure from looking at each other,” Zussman explained about how we sex now versus how we sexed in the ’60s. Read more

Keep Your Socks on for a Better Orgasm

It may not be sexy, but keeping your toes warm while they curl may be worth it.

Forget sexy lingerie and fluffy kitten heels – the key to a better orgasm may be a good old fashioned pair of wooly socks.

A woman’s chance of having an orgasm increases by 30% if her feet are warm apparently. Read more

Orgasm Relieves Restless Leg Syndrome

The internet is abuzz about the research study which found that restless leg syndrome (RLS) can be relieved by flooding the brain with dopamine, which is released through masturbation.

Too much of it will make you go blind – or so you might have been told. But for some, masturbation might have a real clinical benefit: it can ease restless leg syndrome (RLS). The insight could provide sweet relief for the 7 to 10 per cent of people in the US and Europe who suffer from the condition.

However, most of the articles are misleading because of their emphasis on masturbation as a treatment for RLS. Though the researchers had subjects masturbate in their experiment, it’s orgasm, not masturbation itself, that relieves the symptoms of restless leg symptom.

An orgasm provides one of the biggest natural blasts of dopamine available to us. When Gert Holstege at the University of Groningen, the Netherlands, and colleagues scanned the brains of ejaculating men, he said the resulting images resembled scans of heroin rushes. Read more

So, if you suffer from RLS, any sex act that results in an orgasm could relieve your symptoms. You don’t have to treat yourself. You can make your partner your therapist!

What Does Singing Have to Do with Orgasm?

Suzie Heumann, founder of Tantra.com, says when women emit deep, low sounds from their abdomens and with their mouths wide open this can sometimes lead to longer lasting, powerful orgasms and even female ejaculation..

… When we open up to sing that fully, especially songs that have a deep, lower resonance to them, we are triggering and using our vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is a big one. It’s long and it branches a lot of times as it snakes throughout our body. It innervates the voicebox, the throat, the upper palate, the heart, the lungs and portions of the digestive system. You can look it up on any resource site to understand it better.

But what those research sites don’t often say is that not only does it innervate the throat and chest, it is directly connected to the cervix and uterus. What does this mean for women’s pleasure? Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk have investigated the vagus nerve and deep vaginal orgasms in women who have spinal cord injuries. This spinal cord compromise causes them to lack feeling in their lower extremities, thus not allowing them the capacity to feel orgasms by other nerve structures (There are four major nerve pathways to orgasm for women and three for men). The vagus nerve doesn’t travel through the spinal cord, however. Deep, penetrative sexual activities that affect the cervix and stimulate the uterus trigger orgasm via this nerve. These women can have and feel the orgasms.

Here is what I am speculating: That opening up the mouth, chest cavity (through slow, deep breathing) and orgasmic capacities via the vagus nerve may lead to powerful orgasms and possibly multiples and female ejaculation. Read more

Orgasms: What’s the Big Deal?

FOXSexpert Yvonne K. Fulbright takes a contrarian position on orgasms, wondering if they’re overrated, especially as one of life’s experiences.

When it comes to orgasm, ‘What’s the big deal? is rarely ever the reaction. Let’s be honest, humans are spellbound by this riveting response. It’s often hailed as the greatest human experience. You have not truly lived unless you’ve had an orgasm – or have you?

Life is full of intoxicating outbursts of all-consuming excitement, many of which rival reaching climax. Are humans therefore guilty of having played up orgasm as the peak experience? Read more

The Venus Butterfly: Surefire Orgasm or Urban Legend?

The Venus Butterfly: surefire orgasm or urban legend? Sexologist Susan Quilliam investigates.

The Venus Butterfly. It made its debut on TV legal drama LA Law, when— during the 1986 Thanksgiving episode—script writers Steven Bochco and Terry Louise Fisher referred to a mysterious sex technique that guarantees a woman endless, repeated climaxes. The day after Thanksgiving the media was buzzing with talk of the trick, and every loving couple across the nation was wondering how to do it. But hey, it’s just an urban myth, right?

Maybe… maybe not. Ever since that fateful day, sexologists, therapists and writers have made attempted to define this holy grail of sex acts. So does it exist? And if so, does it work? Read more

How to Get the Best Orgasm

best_orgasmHow men and women achieve the best orgasm is often different between the sexes.

We are all aware of the risks of high cholesterol, lack of exercise and stress. But surely there is one part of our lives that should be uncomplicated: the orgasm. Well, apparently not.

Recent evidence suggests that, for both men and women, how we get there has big implications for what it does for us.

For a man, the more wild and thrilling the sex, the closer it is to when he met his mate, the greater his chance of impregnating her. According to a recent Channel 4 documentary, men who are fully stimulated because they are enjoying “gourmet sex” will ejaculate up to 50 per cent more, and with sperm of a better quality. But the way that women orgasm also has important medical implications. Continue reading

Recent Comments

  • BOB: FUR
  • Svetlana Ivanova: If a woman doesn’t want to please the man she’s with, she’s with the wrong man.
  • Jane Doe: This article not only implies that all men want submissive partners, it tells women to take on a persona....
  • Svetlana Ivanova: It isn’t misogynistic at all. It’s realistic and sex-positive.
  • Misty: This is one of the most misogynistic articles I’ve ever read, and I’m surprised you, a...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Clothes are a human invention, not an evolutionary development, and the extent to which they were...
  • RickyP: About the evolution thing, wouldn’t penis size be more obvious if it were the “bright...
  • Ryan: Youkai, how could you have been remembering when you had such parts if you were born male? Or were you born...
  • frank: coming
  • Wes: Still one of my favorite positions. The wife gets bored with it after awhile, but indulges me. The article had a...