About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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male sexuality

Can an Orgasm Last All Day?

Can an orgasm last all day? With an open mind and lots of practice, you can clock a 24-hour sexual high.

Think of ‘tantric sex’ and your mind wanders – uncomfortably – to incense-burning hippies and strange chanting. Or, worse still, Sting. But that’s an outdated stereotype, says Vicky Smith, a sex educator who runs the Embrace Massage. She claims tantric principles are perfectly compatible with busy, 21st-century living. “It’s about maximising pleasure,” she says. “Who doesn’t want that?”

Her exercises will increase your sexual strength and sensitivity. “Within a few months you can master the technique and score an orgasm that lasts all day.” Read more

7 Ways for Men to Have Better Orgasms

Men’s Health gives seven ways that men can make their moment of truth truly mind-blowing.

1. Use your love muscle

Great abs may help you get lucky, but if you want to get the most from the experience you need to work on your pubococcygeal (PC) muscle. At the floor of your pelvis, it controls peeing and spasms during climax, which is why doctors and sex therapists recommend developing it to improve orgasm and reduce the chances of premature ejaculation. It’s also the muscle that enables dogs to wag their tails, but that’s another story entirely. Kegel exercises will develop PC power. Squeeze the muscle you use to hold back your pee. Once you’ve identified this muscle, tighten it, hold for two seconds, then release. Repeat 20 times, three times a day, gradually holding it tight for longer. And keep at it. “Kegels must be done on a regular basis to have any benefit,” says Gordon Muir, consultant urologist at King’s College Hospital. Read more

Michael Paladin has a complete PC muscle exercise routine in his post Exercise for Harder Erections.

4 Things Women Should Know about Blue Balls

Have you always suspected that the boys you made out with were lying when they complained about having “blue balls?” Actually, the condition really exists, and it actually is uncomfortable. So, what’s the deal with blue balls?

A very important question was asked of Dr. Joe DeOrio, the male sexuality expert on EmandLo.com. “What’s the deal with blue balls?” one reader asks. A very good question indeed. I’ve often wondered myself. Such a mysterious ailment, it seems to me. Dr. Joe describes it as a “discomfort in the scrotum/testes that occurs after prolonged sexual stimulation without ejaculatory release.” Yeah, I’m still not able to empathize. It must be a similar to a man trying to understand periods. After the jump, four things we should know about blue balls. Read more

5 Bad Habits Women Have in Bed

In his quest to rid the world of bad sex, Brady Tripp reveals five bad habits women have in bed.

In the same way that a criticism often sticks with you more strongly than a compliment, really bad sex can in many ways make a more lasting impression than good sex…and subsequently, can make whatever chemistry you had with someone disappear faster than Charlie Sheen’s relevance.

So as part of my ongoing effort to help rid the world of bad sex (poverty can wait), here’s a list of some bad sex habits women tend to employ. Now of course, every guy has his own taste and preferences (and yes, I know a companion list for men would not be difficult to compose), but these are five habits that this guy thinks you should break:

1. Biting in all the wrong places:

Ear, yes; nipple, sometimes; pleasure-rod, NEVER. Read more

5 Habits That Can Make Men Bad at Sex

Although men might argue that even bad sex ain’t that bad, but Diana Vilbert says bad sex is like sitting through a terrible movie and wondering if there’s some way you can leave without anyone noticing.

Some may say that having bad sex is like eating pizza — even if it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. I respectfully disagree. Really, bad sex is like sitting through a long, terrible movie, coming to the realization that the preview was the best part, and wondering if there’s some way you can sneak out and leave without anyone noticing.

Of course, men and women alike are capable of pulling less than stellar moves in the bedroom, but when Brady Tripp posted his roundup of five bad habits that women have in bed and admitted “I know a companion list for men would not be difficult to compose,” I had to step up and do just that. Disclaimer: personal preferences, talk to your partner, blah blah blah (no, but really).

1. Skipping foreplay:

We don’t need a a three-hour sensual massage followed by a Titanic/The Notebook double feature to get in the mood—and gotta-have-you-now sex can hit the spot—but if you’ve got the lovin’ feeling, don’t be shy about sharing. A quick shoulder rub and some old-school making out can go a long way.

2. Lazy dirty talk: Read more

How to Have Sex Like a Caveman

According to psychologist Christopher Ryan, cavemen didn’t club women and drag them back to the cave for sex. Prehistoric women were extraordinarily promiscuous. A more like scenario, says Ryan, is that a caveman watched another man have sex with a woman while he patiently waited his turn.

If asked to imagine what prehistoric human sex was like, according to psychologist Christopher Ryan, most of us would conjure “the hackneyed image of the caveman, dragging a dazed woman by her hair with one hand, a club in the other…” Ryan says this image is mistaken in every detail. A much more likely picture of how it went down in prehistoric times was this: a caveman would quietly sit in the corner and watch another caveman have sex with a woman, patiently waiting his turn.

Apparently, prehistoric women were extraordinarily promiscuous, and like our primate ancestors, women are hard-wired to behave like chimps in the bedroom. Read more

Maybe this explains why men are so fascinated by porn: watching other people having sex is part of their evolutionary past.

Why Are Cock Pics Such an Epic Fail?

Why are cock pics such an epic fail with women? Men seem to think that the sight of their penises will make us wild with desire. However, Blondie_McBaffled explains that while heterosexual women “want and need our man’s penis, we don’t fantasize about how it LOOKS, the curvature, the vein protruding from one side; we fantasize about how it FEELS.” A photo of a stranger’s penis just doesn’t get the juices flowing. In fact, it can have the opposite effect because, let’s face it, most penises are sort of ugly.

Yesterday, while watching one of Allstate’s amazing and super funny mayhem commercials, I had an epiphany: penises are ugly. I mean, really, when’s the last time you saw a bumper sticker or t-shirt that said “penises make me smile,” or saw a commercial with a woman looking at a man’s penis like just the very sight of it is making her wild with desire? You haven’t, because penises are ugly.

Put a good-looking, big-breasted girl in a low cut top jogging down the road, and watch the men drool all over themselves and almost get in accidents as they rubberneck to get a better view. Let a man wear something that shows half their penis or scrotum, and see what kind of response that gets. Let him wear a short pair of running shorts with no underwear, with the package playing peek-a-boo as he runs … the women may be looking, but not for the same reasons. Read more

Recent Comments

  • Svetlana Ivanova: Depends on the woman.
  • Fox2: Would that be most probably wouldn’t feel it? I have seen you say elsewhere that less than 5″ means...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Some may, but most probably won’t. For some women in long-term relationships, penetration is...
  • Fox2: Not sure if commenting is working at the moment. Thanks but even though these positions will help maximise my...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: These positions help maximize what you have, whatever that is.
  • Fox: Would these positions help with a penis 4-4.5inches long and around 4inches around? Or do you need to be packing...
  • BOB: FUR
  • Svetlana Ivanova: If a woman doesn’t want to please the man she’s with, she’s with the wrong man.
  • Jane Doe: This article not only implies that all men want submissive partners, it tells women to take on a persona....
  • Svetlana Ivanova: It isn’t misogynistic at all. It’s realistic and sex-positive.