About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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low libido

Why You Should Never Chew Gum Before Sex and 5 Other Libido Torpedoes to Avoid

It turns out that chewing gum not only turns off the person watching you do it, but ruins your own libido as well. Science reveals why you should never chew gum before sex and five other libido torpedoes.

Think it’s a good idea to freshen up your breath with some gum before getting it on? Think twice. Science says that chewing gum prior to sex will affect your bedroom life in a negative way. Read more

Women Feel More Desire AFTER Sex

A new study shows that for women desire follows, rather than precedes, sexual arousal. Rosemary Bason of the University of British Columbia explains that, “for many women, desire is not the cause of lovemaking, but rather, its result.” Women often begin sexual experiences feeling sexually neutral, she says, but by the end of the sex session, they often feel more aroused than they did before they started.

The conventional wisdom is that desire precedes sexual arousal. This works for most men. Men are often coiled springs of desire and easily aroused. Men often describe their libido as a drive similar to hunger or thirst. Twentieth-century sexologists assumed that women’s libido was, if not identical, then similar–and that if women didn’t feel desire, then something was wrong.

[…]

But what if desire does not precede arousal?

That’s what University of British Columbia psychiatrist Rosemary Basson, M.D., discovered in interviews with hundreds of women. Contrary to the conventional model, for many women, desire is not the cause of lovemaking, but rather, its result. “Women,” Basson explains, “often begin sexual experiences feeling sexually neutral.” But as things heat up, so do they, and they eventually experience desire. Read more

Recent Comments

  • BOB: FUR
  • Svetlana Ivanova: If a woman doesn’t want to please the man she’s with, she’s with the wrong man.
  • Jane Doe: This article not only implies that all men want submissive partners, it tells women to take on a persona....
  • Svetlana Ivanova: It isn’t misogynistic at all. It’s realistic and sex-positive.
  • Misty: This is one of the most misogynistic articles I’ve ever read, and I’m surprised you, a...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Clothes are a human invention, not an evolutionary development, and the extent to which they were...
  • RickyP: About the evolution thing, wouldn’t penis size be more obvious if it were the “bright...
  • Ryan: Youkai, how could you have been remembering when you had such parts if you were born male? Or were you born...
  • frank: coming
  • Wes: Still one of my favorite positions. The wife gets bored with it after awhile, but indulges me. The article had a...