About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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internet porn

What Is Your Teenaged Daughter Doing on the Internet?

What is your teenaged daughter doing on the internet and on her cellphone? Every parent over 30 should read this so that they know what’s going on with their children. Don’t try telling yourself that it’s just New York. It’s pretty much the same everywhere.

It’s 1:32 a.m., and I’m on my computer, clicking through pictures of a young girl named Cristal. There she is lounging on a bed in short shorts, her knees drawn up to show the undersides of her thighs, her hot-pink bra peeking out from behind a low-cut tank top. Here’s a close-up of cleavage. And the money shot: Cristal in a teeny, tiny skintight dress posing like a Vargas girl with back arched and leg raised and bust swiveled to face the camera. Her waist is narrow. Her lips are full. She’s a pretty thing, and from the number of provocative images and Cristal’s pout in each of them, it appears that she knows it. In any case, whatever lingering self-doubts she may have had on the matter are surely dispelled by the comments: “VERY SEXY…..I LIKEY”; “god Damm Cristal! That’s some Booty you got there!”; “im smashing lol”; “OMG OMG OMG OMG CAN WE PLEASE GET MARRIED!!!”; “INBOX ME UR #”; “looking hella good ma”; “IM NOT GONNA LIE…………U R SEXY AS HELL.”

When I meet Cristal at a McDonald’s on East 14th Street, a few blocks from the high school where she is a freshman, she’s bundled up and buttoned up and decidedly more demure than she appears online. I learn that she’s 14, that she has a boyfriend, and that she would never consider posting a photo where she’s nude. “Like, naked?” she asks, aghast. “That’s completely out of the question. I don’t do that, not even with my boyfriend.” But she has no qualms about getting the juices flowing, or reveling in the secondhand sexual validation Facebook allows. She pulls the money shot up on her phone and studies it for a moment. “All it really showed was my thighs,” she says before giving in to a little frisson of pride in her developing looks. “But like, no cocky shit, but I have a body, so when I take a picture, it shows. Everything is, like, out there.” Read more

Why Internet Porn Is Good for America

Libertarian Radley Balko argues that sex-related crimes are down as a result of internet porn.

… I tried to think of all the areas in which someone like [Brent] Bozell might conclude pornography is having negative effects, and looked to see what the trends in those areas have looked like since the early-to-mid 1990s, the onset of the Internet age. Perhaps I’ve overlooked something, but my guess is that just about any other category you could come up with would point in the same direction: Things are getting better, not worse. Despite Janet Jackson, Internet porn, and Desperate Housewives.

What I found:

  • Sex crimes against children: Down 39% overall in the last decade. Crimes against 12-17 year olds are down 79% over the same period.
  • Abortion: The number of abortions per live births has trended downward since 1987. That year, there were 356 abortions per 1,000 live births. By 2001 — the last year for which the federal government has data — the number had dropped to 247.
  • Teen pregnancy: The number of live births per 1,000 women aged 15-19 has dropped from 60 in 1990 to 40 in 2003.
  • Divorce: The percentage of marriages ending in divorce has dropped from 47% in 1990 to 38% in 2002.
  • Crimes Against Women: Violent crime against women has dropped from 41 victims per 1,000 women in 1994 to just 17 in 2004.
  • Rape: Incidence of rape has dropped dramatically, despite decreasing social stigma against rape victims, which would make rape more likely to be reported. There were 2.5 rapes per 1,000 women in 1984. By 1993, the number had dropped to 1.6. By 2004, it was down to just 0.4. Read more
  • Recent Comments

    • BOB: FUR
    • Svetlana Ivanova: If a woman doesn’t want to please the man she’s with, she’s with the wrong man.
    • Jane Doe: This article not only implies that all men want submissive partners, it tells women to take on a persona....
    • Svetlana Ivanova: It isn’t misogynistic at all. It’s realistic and sex-positive.
    • Misty: This is one of the most misogynistic articles I’ve ever read, and I’m surprised you, a...
    • Svetlana Ivanova: Clothes are a human invention, not an evolutionary development, and the extent to which they were...
    • RickyP: About the evolution thing, wouldn’t penis size be more obvious if it were the “bright...
    • Ryan: Youkai, how could you have been remembering when you had such parts if you were born male? Or were you born...
    • frank: coming
    • Wes: Still one of my favorite positions. The wife gets bored with it after awhile, but indulges me. The article had a...