About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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first-time anal sex

Anal Sex for Beginners

analFor many people, anal sex is the ultimate taboo. Many people are attracted to it precisely because it’s so taboo and mysterious. Others haven’t tried it yet and are curious.

What Is Anal Sex?

Anal sex is the act of placing a finger, an erect penis, or object into the anus of another person to give and receive sexual pleasure. Some people also enjoy oral stimulation of the anus, known as analingus or rimming.

Does Anal Sex Hurt?

Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong. With enough lubricant and enough patience, it’s entirely possible to enjoy anal sex as a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life. If you follow these 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex, you can ensure that your first anal sex experience is pleasurable rather than painful. Continue reading

How to Have Anal Sex with a Big Penis

Couple in BedCan a penis be too big for anal sex? Probably not, though size does matter. However, a big penis doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. With proper preparation, enough lubrication, the right position, and relaxation techniques, having anal sex with a big penis can be comfortable and pleasurable. Continue reading

Ten Rules of Anal Sex

Jack Morin, PhD, author of Anal Pleasure & Health: A Guide for Men and Women, lists ten rules of anal sex. Once you learned the rules, my post 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex will guide you to to a pleasurable anal sex experience.

Anal Eroticism is surrounded by a powerful taboo. Yet millions of men and women – straight, gay and bisexual – are experimenting with anal sex. The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with the main pelvic muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbor of the genitals and contracts rhythmically during orgasm. Thirty-five years ago, Kinsey stated that the anal region had erotic significance for about half of the population. In a survey of 100,000 Playboy readers, 47 percent of the men and 61 percent of the women admitted to having tried anal intercourse.

Yet the anal taboo inhibits most people from thinking, talking and learning about the sexual use of the anus. Listed here are the ten things most men and women still do not know about anal sex.

1. Anal intercourse is the least practiced form of anal sex.

There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common techniques include touching the anal opening while masturbating or stimulating a partner’s anus during intercourse or oral sex.

Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger – their own or a lover’s – insinuated into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may prefer the insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and short anal canal into the larger rectum. Many men, including hetereosexuals, prefer this form of penetration.

Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. [See my post Analingus: The Dark Kiss.] The very idea disgusts some people. Others enjoy performing it or allowing themselves to be probed in this special way. Read more

How to Make Her Want Anal Sex

CoupleDo you want to have anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain about her reaction? Many women are curious about anal sex, but are scared about comfort and safety issues. Some women who are unwilling to try anal sex with their current partner may have had a bad experience with an impatient or ignorant lover in the past. That’s why I don’t recommend asking a woman for anal sex without some careful preparation. Instead of asking her to try anal sex, it’s better to make her want anal sex. Continue reading

3 Ways to Get Your Partner to Try Anal Sex

Many people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. Bad Kitty at LoveHoney reveals three ways to get your partner to try anal sex, and if you follow these 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex, you will ensure that your partner’s first anal sex experience is pleasurable rather than painful. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feel like for a woman.

Anal sex can be scary if you haven’t done it before, but even scarier for your partner if you have and they haven’t. Here’s some ways to encourage them to give anal play a go… Read more

10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex

bed-coupleMany people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong. Actually, anal intercourse can provide a unique form of pleasure for both men and women. Anal sex is enjoyable for men because the tight anal sphincter rings provide strong sensations to a thrusting penis. Continue reading

Which Anal Sex Positions Are Best for Beginners?

anal_missionaryMany women are curious about anal sex, but are scared about comfort and safety issues. Some women who are unwilling to try anal sex with their current partner may have had a bad experience with an impatient or ignorant lover in the past.

However, anal sex can be very pleasurable for women because the rectum shares a wall with the vagina, and the sexual nerves are actually closer on that side, which makes the sensation unique, stronger and quite possibly orgasmic. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, use the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex.

For those couples trying anal sex for the first time, choosing the best position may make the difference between a painful or pleasurable experience. Continue reading

Recent Comments

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