About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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female orgasm tips

Orgasm Tips to Add to Your Sex Life

Close the orgasm gap with these tips you can add to your sex life now.

Here at Refinery29, we don’t believe that any approach to sex is one-size-fits-all. Different techniques work for different people (with different partners, and at different times). That said, we have collected quite a few tried-and-tested tips that sex therapists, sex toy experts, and sex-having people swear can help you reach orgasm (and maybe even orgasms). No, orgasm isn’t the be-all-end-all of sex, but it’s part of the gamut of sexual experience, and a pretty great one at that.

Unfortunately, the orgasm gap is alive and well, and far fewer women than men are reaching climax on a regular basis. It’s true that there are many reasons behind this inequity, from inadequate sex ed to continued, society-wide disregard for women’s sexual satisfaction. To the extent that you can take action to experience the pleasure you’d like, though, you deserve to. That’s why we’re collecting some of our best tips for achieving orgasm here. Click through to review some you may know and discover others you may not have heard, and check back as we continue to add to the list. Read more

4 Female Orgasm Tips You Can Use Tonight

Loving CoupleOne of the top reasons that women cheat on their partners is an unsatisfying sex life. Although women can enjoy sex with their partners without always having an orgasm, they will never be sexually satisfied unless they are enjoying orgasms regularly. If you want to sexually satisfy your woman, you have to be giving her orgasms. Fortunately, giving a woman orgasms is not rocket science. All it takes is a little knowledge of the female body and some time and patience. If you try these four tips, you can start giving your woman the orgasms she wants and needs tonight. Continue reading

How to Give a Woman Multiple Orgasms

Adult webmaster Sarah Gibson reveals six steps to giving a woman multiple orgasms.

The clitoris, it’s the indisputable powerhouse of the female orgasm. It has  twice as many nerve endings as the penis and has the enviable ability to produce multiple orgasms – so long as you know what to do with it. Read on for top tips on how to give your girl multiple orgasms. Read more

25 Top Tips to Have More and Better Orgasms

Sex therapist Dr. Natasha Valdez, author of Vitamin O: Why Orgasms Are Vital to a Woman’s Happiness, and How to Have Them Every Time, chatted with The Stir and gave them her 25 top tips for having more and better orgasms.

Anyone who thinks that orgasms don’t matter is probably not having as many of them as they should. Orgasms are pretty nifty and feel so good, but they are also part of a healthy lifestyle for any woman.

Sex therapist Dr. Natasha Valdez is famous for touting why orgasms are so good. Her new book — Vitamin O: Why Orgasms Are Vital to a Woman’s Happiness, and How to Have Them Every Time — came out May 1. In it, Dr. Natasha explains the health benefits of regular orgasms, which include:

  • Relaxation – less stress and tension
  • Falling asleep and staying asleep better
  • More supple skin
  • Lower risk of heart disease Immunity boost
  • Reduced hunger and cravings for junk food

The problem is, not all of us are having them. In fact, 10 to 15 percent of women never climax under any circumstances.

Dr. Natasha can help change that. She chatted with The Stir and gave us her 25 top tips for having more (and better) orgasms. Read more

10 Things That Get in the Way of Female Orgasm

Nearly all men can climax without difficulty, but women just aren’t built that way. Psychologist and sex expert Dr. Belisa Vranich reveals the ten things that get in the way of female orgasm.

The two of you are having sex, but only one is climaxing. And it’s probably not her.

The number one “Dear Doc” question I get has to do with “lack of desire,” “lower libido,” or “inability to achieve orgasm” for women, and it can be caused by a number of physical and psychological factors.

Once the kids are out of earshot, read the following out loud to her and see if she’s shaking her head in agreement, then make the necessary adjustments to make “Oh, no..” turn into “Oh, yes!” Read more

12 Sure-Fire Orgasm Tips

From killer to kinky, Handbag lists twelve sure-fire tips to getting harder, faster, stronger, and multiple orgasms.

Work those pelvic floors, ladies!

Next time you’re on the loo, try stopping yourself peeing mid-flow. The muscles you clench up to stop the flow are your pelvic muscles. You can repeat this exercise any time, anywhere – in fact, right now at your desk! Strong PC (pubococcygeal) muscles mean stronger orgasms, so spend a couple of weeks ‘working out’ and you’ll be far more delighted with the outcome than any weight loss at the gym… Read more

What a Woman Feels When She Reaches Orgasm

Debby Herbenick, PH.D., at Men’s Health desconstructs the female orgasm and explains why women say,”Don’t stop!” when we’re getting close.

An orgasm isn’t that different from an electrical capacitor, building up arousal until a firing threshold is reached. Stop and she’ll return to her baseline — and you’ll start from scratch. Here’s how to create sparks every time.


Sexual triggers — grinding on the dance floor, George Clooney movies — unleash a cascade of physiological responses that begin to prepare her body for sex. Her body starts to lubricate the vaginal canal and inner labia. The brain orders the release of the chemical vasoactive intestinal peptide, which increases bloodflow to the pelvic area, swelling the inner and outer labia and causing her to feel sexual tension. Read more

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