About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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erotic spanking

A Beginner’s Guide to Spanking

If you’ve ever wanted to spank or be spanked in the bedroom, this beginner’s guide to spanking reveals how to spank like a pro.

It’s not often that thanks to Victorian-era erotica, a 15-year-old girl experiences a sexual epiphany. But that’s exactly what happened to Katherine* during her sophomore year of high school.

When her debate team stopped at a bookstore on an out-of-town trip, a friend purchased a book of 19th century sex stories. You know what happens next: on the bus ride home, a wide-eyed Katherine pored over one tale about a man and his female servant. Read more

5 Things You Need to Know about Spanking (Before You Try It)

A little spanking session in the bedroom is a quick, easy, and affordable way to spice things up, but there are important physical and emotional safety issues.

A little spanking session in the bedroom is a quick, easy, and affordable way to spice things up (look ma, nothing but hands!). But as with anything involving painful pleasure, there are always important safety issues — both physical and emotional — that you should familiarize yourself with first, before you go swatting away like gangbusters. Consider this the kinder, gentler way to spank: Read more

 

 

The Psychology of Domination and Submission

Domination and submission are coming into the mainstream and out in the open, which means that a lot of men and women must share these desires. What are the psychological underpinnings of domination and submission?

Has spanking gone mainstream? asks Katie Roiphe in a Newsweek cover story in response to all the hype around the Twilight fanfiction slash “mommy porn” bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey. Roiphe notes the coincidence of this trend of women eagerly consuming fantasies of submission at a time when women are “in hard economic terms” less subjugated or dependent by men than before. May it be “that power is not always that comfortable, even for those of us who grew up in it … that equality is something we want only sometimes and in some places and in some arenas …. that power and all of its imperatives can be boring”? Read more

12 Films with Erotic Spanking Scenes

Erotic spanking is a turn-on for many couples, so when you’re not doing it yourself, what could be better than watching a handsome actor spanking the soft bottom of a beautiful actress?  The Frisky has clips from twelve films with sexy spanking scenes. Watch videos

If watching these clips inspires you to want to stage your own spanking scene, my post Bottoms Up! How to give an Erotic Spanking gives couples some pointers to make it hurt so good.

Spank My Butt: Top 10 Amateur Spanking Videos

Erotic or sexual spanking is probably the most socially acceptable form of BDSM. In fact, it’s almost mainstream. Fleshbot has posted the top ten amateur spanking videos. If this looks like fun, but you haven’t tried it yet, my post Bottoms Up: How to Give an Erotic Spanking gives some pointers to get started.

We like big butts and we cannot lie. That’s why we have nothing but good thoughts about booty spanking during sex. A little discipline never hurt anyone, especially when it involves sexy women on their knees.

These couples know how to add a little kink to their sex lives, finding a happy medium between pleasure and pain. The women in these videos enjoy every moment of their painful punishment—almost as much as we do. Watch videos

Bottoms Up! How to Give an Erotic Spanking

Erotic spanking is the act of spanking another person for the sexual arousal or gratification of either or both partners. Spanking can be sexy, and a majority of women have fantasies about being spanked. Most men, too, find spanking a woman to be a strong sexual turn-on.

For a woman, the turn-on is not so much in the sensation of pain as it is in the feeling of helpless submission and vulnerability of being bent over her partner’s lap, the attention being paid to her behind (a primary erogenous zone), the feeling of a man’s hand warming her buttocks, and the anticipation of sexual pleasures to come. For a man, the arousing aspect of spanking is the feeling of control and power over his helpless lover, and the excitement of playing with her beautiful bottom, turning it pink and putting her in the mood for some hot, passionate sex. Continue reading

An Introduction to Spanking

There is pleasure in certain kinds of pain. Lots of people enjoy spanking; giving or receiving (or both), and there are many different ways you can do it. David Strovny at AskMen.com tells men everywhere how, when, and at what tempo they should be spanking their women.

Virtually every man on Earth has had the desire to spank his woman. Whether it’s a kinky fetish or simply a spice you want to add to the dish that is your sex life, spanking definitely has its perks.

Today’s tip will help men everywhere learn how, when and at what tempo they should be spanking their women.

before you rev up your hand

In a perfect world, if you wanted to spank your woman, you would just do so and care nothing for the consequences, because, in a perfect world, there would be none. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works in the real world. Read more

Recent Comments

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