About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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casual sex

6 Tips for Having Casual Sex

Casual sex isn’t just for sluts anymore. Maura Kelly gives six tips for how to have casual sex.

Lovelies:

Over the weekend, I spent some time with my dear friend Jack, a frequent contributor to Nerve.com, where he writes the column “I Did It for Science.” Jack is absolutely frighteningly brilliant–or at least, I’m always half-terrified, when I’m with him, that I won’t be able to keep up: He has a B.A. from Brown and a Ph.D. in Medieval Literature from Duke. And yet, he’s no geek: When he talks, you’re mesmerized by the stories he tells, amazed by the books he waxes so eloquent about it, and laughing at the jokes he’s always making. Plus, he’s so rakishly handsome–with a thick swirl of ginger hair, a toothy smile, and high cheekbones–that I always have a moment of elevated heart-beating when I first see him again. As if all that weren’t fantastic enough, he is a huge sweetheart: in addition to being attentive and sweet when we’re hanging out, he also goes out of his way to help me in any way he can. Read more

How to Have a Nooner

If you want to get lucky on your lunch break, Danielle Page gives six tips to make it happen.

You could use your lunch hour to grab some food, take a stroll and run a few errands. Or, you could utilize those sixty minutes to their full potential and plan a steamy shag session instead.

You’re probably thinking: Won’t my boss know? What if I don’t make it back on time? Do I have to go all the way home to make this happen? Where can I get away with doing it in public? Read more

Casual Sex: 10 Steps to Getting It Right

Casual sex can range from great to disappointing to awful (just like sex in a relationship), but you have a better chance of getting it right if you follow these ten steps suggested by Em & Lo.

At least half of all problems associated with casual sex can be traced back to its name: People think that “casual” means the sex takes no thought and fits as comfortably as sweatpants. But the truth is, you have to date for years before sex gets like that. (Monogamy does have a few benefits, after all!)

In fact, this is one of the reasons why the two of us often refer to casual sex as recreational sex instead — or rec sex for short. It’s a kinder, gentler term, making us think of sex on a picnic blanket — as opposed to the term casual, which makes us think of people being sloppy-drunk and mean.

Here are ten steps to getting recreational sex right: Read more

10 Tips for the Best Casual Sex Ever

Em & Lo offer ten tips for the best casual sex ever.

At least half of all problems associated with casual sex can be traced back to its name: People think that “casual” means the sex takes no thought and fits as comfortably as sweatpants. But the truth is, you have to date for years before sex gets like that. (Monogamy does have a few benefits, after all!)

In fact, this is one of the reasons why the two of us often refer to casual sex as recreational sex instead — or rec sex for short. It’s a kinder, gentler term, making us think of sex on a picnic blanket — as opposed to the term casual, which makes us think of people being sloppy-drunk and mean.

Here are ten steps to getting recreational sex right: Read more

4 Steps to a Hotter Hook-Up

Pull off the perfect hook-up with these smart strategies from Debby Herbenick, Ph,D.

Casual sex may seem simple on the surface, but a truly great hookup requires some serious thought. Watch this video from Men’s Health Sex Professor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., and discover the strategies you need to pull off your hottest hookup ever.  Watch video

Study: Booty Calls Hotter Than One-Night Stands

According to science, booty calls are hotter than one-night stands.

Going through a dry spell? According to a this sex study, people seeking better sex lives might consider becoming someone’s booty call. That’s right — science has found casual sex is, generally, good sex, but more so in a friends-with-benefits arrangement rather than in the context of a one night stand. Read more

10 Rules for Being Friends with Benefits

If you’re interested in a friends with benefits relationship, follow these ten rules for success.

Rule 1: DO think twice about hooking up with your neighbor.
There are, without a doubt, many pros to having a FWB living in close proximity: Your walk of shame is substantially less embarrassing, you don’t have to worry about driving home after one too many glasses of wine, and usually you’ll be able to tell if he’s home. On the other hand, when the reality of how your sex buddy spends his time away from you—and vice versa—sets in, that geographic proximity could very well be the downfall of your casual relationship, says Rachel Russo, a dating, relationship, and image coach based in New York City. And after several 3 A.M. sightings of his empty parking space in your building’s garage, you’ll start to wonder how things got so complicated. Read more

Recent Comments

  • ken: Dear Fran, I am a mature,married,70 yr. old man who just love giving safe and sane,maintainance spankings to...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Many women prefer to start small with anal, but big is quite enjoyable.
  • Dorian: Would 4.5/4.25 be ideal or enough for good anal? As anal is more tight I guess that the ideal penis size...
  • Alle P: Popping the penis (tip #2) is something my husband loves to do even if I’m not deepthroating but it...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: This is an excellent article, but you do need to actually read it and watch the video, not just...
  • Mike: What a bunch of crap and a waste of time who ever wrote this doesn’t explain or give any of the tips they...
  • Mixxxer: You nailed it! Exploring sex positions and allowing your partner to do it is a sense of intimate sexual...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: That is definitely on the small side.
  • Fox: Thanks. Would 4.25/4.5 inches be just too small/”is in yet?” for most women even with positions for...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: A woman should be able to feel five inches or more. Positions help, but it depends on the woman.