About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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casual sex

How to Have a Nooner

If you want to get lucky on your lunch break, Danielle Page gives six tips to make it happen.

You could use your lunch hour to grab some food, take a stroll and run a few errands. Or, you could utilize those sixty minutes to their full potential and plan a steamy shag session instead.

You’re probably thinking: Won’t my boss know? What if I don’t make it back on time? Do I have to go all the way home to make this happen? Where can I get away with doing it in public? Read more

Casual Sex: 10 Steps to Getting It Right

Casual sex can range from great to disappointing to awful (just like sex in a relationship), but you have a better chance of getting it right if you follow these ten steps suggested by Em & Lo.

At least half of all problems associated with casual sex can be traced back to its name: People think that “casual” means the sex takes no thought and fits as comfortably as sweatpants. But the truth is, you have to date for years before sex gets like that. (Monogamy does have a few benefits, after all!)

In fact, this is one of the reasons why the two of us often refer to casual sex as recreational sex instead — or rec sex for short. It’s a kinder, gentler term, making us think of sex on a picnic blanket — as opposed to the term casual, which makes us think of people being sloppy-drunk and mean.

Here are ten steps to getting recreational sex right: Read more

10 Tips for the Best Casual Sex Ever

Em & Lo offer ten tips for the best casual sex ever.

At least half of all problems associated with casual sex can be traced back to its name: People think that “casual” means the sex takes no thought and fits as comfortably as sweatpants. But the truth is, you have to date for years before sex gets like that. (Monogamy does have a few benefits, after all!)

In fact, this is one of the reasons why the two of us often refer to casual sex as recreational sex instead — or rec sex for short. It’s a kinder, gentler term, making us think of sex on a picnic blanket — as opposed to the term casual, which makes us think of people being sloppy-drunk and mean.

Here are ten steps to getting recreational sex right: Read more

4 Steps to a Hotter Hook-Up

Pull off the perfect hook-up with these smart strategies from Debby Herbenick, Ph,D.

Casual sex may seem simple on the surface, but a truly great hookup requires some serious thought. Watch this video from Men’s Health Sex Professor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., and discover the strategies you need to pull off your hottest hookup ever.  Watch video

Study: Booty Calls Hotter Than One-Night Stands

According to science, booty calls are hotter than one-night stands.

Going through a dry spell? According to a this sex study, people seeking better sex lives might consider becoming someone’s booty call. That’s right — science has found casual sex is, generally, good sex, but more so in a friends-with-benefits arrangement rather than in the context of a one night stand. Read more

10 Rules for Being Friends with Benefits

If you’re interested in a friends with benefits relationship, follow these ten rules for success.

Rule 1: DO think twice about hooking up with your neighbor.
There are, without a doubt, many pros to having a FWB living in close proximity: Your walk of shame is substantially less embarrassing, you don’t have to worry about driving home after one too many glasses of wine, and usually you’ll be able to tell if he’s home. On the other hand, when the reality of how your sex buddy spends his time away from you—and vice versa—sets in, that geographic proximity could very well be the downfall of your casual relationship, says Rachel Russo, a dating, relationship, and image coach based in New York City. And after several 3 A.M. sightings of his empty parking space in your building’s garage, you’ll start to wonder how things got so complicated. Read more

How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life with Someone New

Ian Kerner reveals four ways to make the first time with a new partner amazing.

That first roll in the hay with a new guy can be mind-blowingly hot…if you’re in a movie. But in reality, there’s usually something that doesn’t quite click and you’re left wondering what you could have done to minimize the fumbling.

“You can be nervous, and you don’t know what the other person will be into,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D. Which is why, although you might have great conversation and kissing chemistry, taking the next step can get a little awkward. Here are a few ways you can make that first night as steamy as possible: Read more

Recent Comments

  • manawa: yehh I NEED TO LEARN ALL THIS GREAT TIPS
  • deepak: Hi to all. We have been having this fun of threesome for quite a while now..at first my wife hasitated but...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: If it’s true, it would be by the same method: strengthening their vaginal muscles. They...
  • Nguyen quynh: Thanks very much for your answer. I really appreciate it. I will try with a penis- sized object. By the...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Yes, the problem is that your vaginal muscles are not yet strong enough. The larger the object...
  • Nguyen quynh: Dear Svetlana, i don’t know how to isolate 2 vaginal muscles. I try to squeeze with my fingers, i...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Definitely a normal and common desire.
  • Steve: My wife has done number 5 but whenever she does i’m secretly hoping she’ll put her finger in my...
  • Steve: I keep hoping she’ll stick her finger in ny butt when she’s going down on me. Is this a normal...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: For many women, it is.