About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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casual sex

How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life with Someone New

Ian Kerner reveals four ways to make the first time with a new partner amazing.

That first roll in the hay with a new guy can be mind-blowingly hot…if you’re in a movie. But in reality, there’s usually something that doesn’t quite click and you’re left wondering what you could have done to minimize the fumbling.

“You can be nervous, and you don’t know what the other person will be into,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D. Which is why, although you might have great conversation and kissing chemistry, taking the next step can get a little awkward. Here are a few ways you can make that first night as steamy as possible: Read more

Looking for Casual Sex

Heaven gives some ideas on where to look for casual sex.

The Pros and Cons of the Drunk Hook-up

Lauren runs down the pros and cons of the drunk hook-up.

Alcohol is my oyster. It is my aphrodisiac. It turns me on. It makes me want to hump anything on two legs (and the occasional wall). Give me a few Vodka/Soda’s and I am like a frat boy in heat.

Grrr.

That means that, against my better judgment, I often let my loins do the talkin’ and follow them wherever (and with whomever) they decide. And usually they decide to head home for a little intoxicated fun. Unless they are over-ruled by my belly, in which case we make a pit-stop for breadsticks en route to the fun. Read more

7 Times When Casual Sex Is Actually a Good Idea

Even if you don’t believe in casual sex,  Tess Barker says there are seven times when it makes perfect sense.

Casual sex gets such a bad rap. It can set you up for disappointment or bring you to the bedrooms of men who you normally wouldn’t want to share an elevator with, yes. But it can also lower stress and lift self-esteem, according to research conducted at Cornell University. So how do you know when a one-night stand is going to bring you bliss—or just make you blush the next day? Experts say it’s all about your personality: If you know you’re the type to get off on booty calls, then own it, lady! Read more

8 Times Friends with Benefits Actually Works

Stefanie Faviochio says that friends with benefits relationshipd can work great if you follow eight rules.

“Friends with benefits” might be one of the most complicated relationships you could possibly get yourself into. This kind of relationship typically starts off really fun and convenient (a best friend who you can make out with? SCORE!) but almost always, someone ends up getting feelings which results in ruining the friendship all together. Buzz kill.

But FWB doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. In fact, it could actually work if you follow these 8 rules: Read more

The Science of Hook-ups: 5 Shocking Facts About One-Night Stands

Discover the surprising ways your brain (and a woman’s hips) play a role in casual sex encounters.

It’s a familiar scene: a thriving nightlife, a club or maybe a wine bar where glasses are clinking and singles are mingling before drifting off into the shadows — two by two. It’s not the perfect picture of romance, but when you’re caught up in the moment, a warm body feels like a fair substitute for love, right?

Hooking up is just a reality of the dating scene. But since when did the hookup scene become the place to find love? While you may think you’re just living the carefree single life, your brain is influencing your decisions more than you might want to admit. Read more

6 Sex Moves that Will Ruin Your Chances for a Second Lay

Things that a long-term partner might allow you to do in bed because she wants to please you are not always a good idea to try with a new woman. These six sex moves could ruin your chances for a return engagement.

Gettin’ down with someone new for the first time is exciting and nervewracking. There are so many decisions to make! Lights on or lights off? Do you get on top, or do you just park yourself on the bottom and hope for the best? Will it be evident that it’s been a minute? The thing about it, is that t once you do it, it really is like riding a bike. You never really forget, you just have to get back on the horse. Hooking up with a new person for the first time can be totally awesome. Sure, there are awkward moments as you figure out each other’s moves and tastes, but the sexual chemistry carries you through. But there are those other times when your new paramour’s behavior in the bedroom is inexcusable. We all have our limits. Dudes, take heed. Here are some sex dealbreakers that will definitely not get you another lay. Read more

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