About Me
I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.
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Prostate Massage for the Ultimate Male Orgasm

nude male buttUsually, we consider the penis to be the only male sex organ, but the prostate is a man’s other sexual organ. The prostate is a gland of the male reproductive system located underneath the bladder and just in front of the rectum. Widely considered to be the male equivalent of the female G-spot, there is a lot of pleasure to be had from the prostate. When performed correctly, a prostate massage can give a man a much more intense orgasm than he has ever experienced before.

Since a man already associates pleasure with his penis, the key to making a prostate massage work for your man is to arouse him by giving him a genital massage at the same time. That way, prostate sensations will also be associated with sexual pleasure. Begin by caressing his penis with both hands. Keep the stimulation on his penis going even as one of your hands starts moving down towards his anus. His erection may come and go, but the genital stimulation should continue.

Don’t rush into the penetration part of prostate massage. Start with an external massage of the prostate. The perineum is located between the testicles and above the anus and most men find that massaging it is very pleasurable and relaxing. Next, massage his anus using a rhythmic, circular motion. You can gently push on the anus, as if you’re ringing a doorbell, without forcing your finger inside. This will help relax the anal sphincter.

Ask him if he’s ready for you to “come inside.” If he is, apply lubricant to your man’s anus and onto your middle or index finger. Then slowly penetrate him with your finger as far as you can go. Once inside, rest a moment while he gets used to the sensation of having something in his anus. Once you’re both comfortable and your finger is fully inside, slowly and carefully curl your finger. You should be able to feel a small, firm bump about the size of a walnut on the uppermost side of his anal passage, in the direction of his navel. This is his prostate gland.

Once you have found the prostate, press or stroke the gland along its sides in a rhythmic motion with the pad of your finger, not your nail. Do not massage the central (top) area because it contains several sensitive nerves. The maximum amount of pressure you should apply would be equal to the amount of pressure you would rub your eye with. Try different forms of stimulation: slight pressure, firm pressure, moving your fingers in small circles, stroking, or maybe even vibrations. By experimenting with different types of stimulation, you will identify what feels best to your man.

By applying more or less pressure to the prostate gland, you can learn to control your man’s sensations, even to the point of inhibiting him from ejaculating. The ability to control ejaculation through prostate massage allows for nearly unending stimulation of the his genitals. Pressing on the prostate while he ejaculates can increase intensity of his orgasm even more.

A prostate massage can be very erotic and intense for both partners. It’s a very intimate sexual practice that brings a couple closer sexually. You will be learning and putting trust in each other while sharing a new experience.

These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. If you have never tried (or even heard of) this sexual practice, read my tutorial How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It.

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6 Responses to Prostate Massage for the Ultimate Male Orgasm

  • Hi Svetlana,

    You mention the following:

    “By applying more or less pressure to the prostate gland, you can learn to control your man’s sensations, even to the point of inhibiting him from ejaculating. The ability to control ejaculation through prostate massage allows for nearly unending stimulation of the his genitals….”

    What is your specific technique for that? Do you have a publication with the how-to? Also, you mention that pressing on the top of the prostate isn’t a good idea. Only the sides. Who told you that?

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Hi Eric,
    I don’t know who told me that pressing on the top of the prostate isn’t a good idea. I probably read it somewhere and applied the “better safe than sorry” rule since it’s someone else’s body.

    My technique for controlling ejaculation is to stop direct stimulation of the prostate when he tells me he’s getting close, or (if he cheats and doesn’t tell me) when I detect that he’s approaching climax. I also either press on the perineum midway between his scrotum and anus, or I pull his testicles (gently) down and away from his body. I’ve found that I can continue with a light, sensual stroking of the penis while doing this without causing ejaculation. I then go back to prostate stimulation.

    I was surprised at first at how many times I can do this before he finally ejaculates. Sometimes the orgasm is the whole-body, shuddering kind, especially if I’ve remembered to stimulate the rest of his body during the massage. Concerning that, I’ve also found that men seem to be more open than usual to licking and gentle sucking of their nipples during prostate massage. Maybe it’s because they’re being penetrated and have given up control.

  • Rolandgreaux says:

    Is prostate massage a form of stress release

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    It can be.

  • acash says:

    Hi Svetlana,
    I’m a young guy who has tried many types of anal toys & fingered himself many times. The toys are too deep & they poke too hard on my prostate or the nearby region. What I’ve found about my prostate was that I did not enjoy the friction, only a bit of pressure. But a period of stroking in various directions, it gets numb. I’ve finally learned that the secret to my prostate feeling is using a vibrator & letting it slide down my anus & almost out of my body. Just before it pops out, I’ll very softly & slowly clench my anus & then gently, without pain, suck it up. Its slipperiness & the feeling of it slipping out tingles my prostate at the right spot without any frictional burn.

    What interests me is whether you have heard of anything like this. I’ve visited many websites, but no one has done it this way. I find their methods of stroking too rough. I also wonder if there are women who like people to be very gentle in their vagina.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Many women prefer gentleness in the vagina, but even more so with the clitoris.

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Recent Comments
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Have fun!
  • James Scholes: Great advice. Were beginners at this.
  • Svetlana Ivanova: A man has a more direct route to an anal orgasm than a woman – his prostate. Otherwise,...
  • steve: Can the same be applied to a man and strap -on wearing woman?
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Some women are definitely uncomfortable with that.
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Not STD so much as just disease in general because the vagina is a good incubator for bacteria....
  • Abby: Hi, i haf anal dex for the first time with my BF then had vaginal. Is there a risk of getting and STD even...
  • steve: I tried this last night, except instead of oral I rubbed her clothes with one hand and did the premium massage...
  • DJ: Thank you for this wonderful, detailed description. I often wonder what sex feels like for a woman. I will give...
  • steve: I have found that from my experience. Great article
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