About Me
I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.
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How to Have Anal Sex with a Big Penis

Couple in BedCan a penis be too big for anal sex? Probably not, though size does matter. However, a big penis doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. With proper preparation, enough lubrication, the right position, and relaxation techniques, having anal sex with a big penis can be comfortable and pleasurable.

1) Preparation. One way to prepare yourself for anal sex with a big penis is butt plugs. Get one butt plug as large as the diameter of your partner’s penis and one or two smaller ones. Use the smaller ones as “trainers,” if necessary,  and work up to being able to insert the largest one. You can wear a butt plug during the day to prepare for anal sex that evening, or wait to insert it prior to foreplay. If you wear it while having vaginal sex, he will love how tight it makes your vagina feel. Once you’re able to insert and wear the large butt plug, penetration with his penis should then be fairly comfortable.

2) Lubrication. Since the anal region is not self-lubricating, lubricants are essential to reduce friction and discomfort during anal sex, and even more so with a big penis. A good choice for anal sex is Astroglide, a super-smooth, long-lasting lubricant that can be found at many neighborhood pharmacies. Use as much lube as possible. You really can’t use too much.

3) Position. Though doggy-style may be the most popular anal sex position, it’s not necessarily the best one if your partner has a big penis. Missionary position (man on top, woman on bottom) allows the woman to fully relax her anus, making penetration much easier. Another good position is side anal or “spooning.” The woman lies on one side, and the man approaches from the rear. The woman can relax her anus, and the man can easily access the entire anal area.

4) Relaxation. If you have pain when his penis is inserted, have your partner stop, but not pull out. He should just hold his position while you take several slow, deep breaths and relax the anal muscles. Pushing out (as you would for a bowel movement) will help to open those muscles and allow them relax against the penis. The pain should subside though you may still might feel some discomfort from having something pushing into you and being stretched open. Try to stay relaxed as he continues to push his penis in further. Any time it hurts, have your partner stop while you take slow, deep breaths, push out, and relax until the pain subsides.

If the man exercises patience and control, most women will be able to accommodate any size penis using the above techniques. The incredible sensations of fullness for a woman and tightness for the man make anal sex with a big penis worth the extra time and effort.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

22 Responses to How to Have Anal Sex with a Big Penis

  • Lolita says:

    I dont think its necesary so much training or so much thinking before to have anal sex. When u take care for all the details I dont thin un can feel the pleasure. U can do it with every penis – it doesnt matter the shape size or colour. Important is to trust your partner and to wish yourself that in this moment u want him in your ass. Belive me, it works without training or oil. And its more fun when u feel just orgasm after orgasm without thinking…
    Take care!

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    .I don’t think so much training is usually necessary either. Following the 10 Steps to Great First Time Anal Sex should be enough for most couples. However, I’ve had reader requests to do a post about this topic after my post What to Do If Your Man’s Penis Is Too Big, which only covered vaginal sex.

  • wow. how helpful!
    :)

  • anal sex is forbiden, it could be danger for the healhty, beside it wasn’t normal behavior for human being.
    the poin is ” People never being satisfied” that’s why they always try another thing and keep trying to get the up-date one.
    Ass hole does not match to Penis,it’s dirt place because…it’s like an EXHAUST……………ha ha ha ha
    Next time you write a welknown brand of exhaust there, like “Yoshimura or Arrow etc” it will be much better look, ha ha ha ha.
    Da da da da, bye bye bye

  • Good tips! Thanks!

  • Sara says:

    Hi Svetlana, great article! I am very curious about the incredible sensations of fullness for a woman that you describe when having anal sex with a guy with a big penis. I like anal sex but never had a chance to try with a big one. My bf´s penis is small and I don´t feel fullness as you describe.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    You could try with a dildo. The sensations are the same although the feeling is not.

  • Sara says:

    Thanks, but a dildo is never the same. I was thinking of swinging, my bf was quite excited about swinging. But he could become jealous to see me with a big one.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    No, a dildo isn’t the same. Some men get jealous about seeing their woman taking a big one, but others don’t. They enjoy watching their women receive pleasure.

  • Sara says:

    I would rather do kind of swinging but without seeing each other with others. I would rather be alone with a man with a big one and just enjoy, not to worry about someones feelings who is watching. My bf would not need to know that I look for the big ones;-)

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    That’s definitely better if you’re not interested in an MFM threesome. You can’t really let yourself go if you’re wondering what your boyfriend is feeling.

  • Sara says:

    Swingin yes, but not to have a MFM. My bf likes the swinging idea too:-)
    I would like to look for above average girth but how does penis length impact anal sex sensation/feeling?

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Length gives you sensation all the way inside you, including feeling the head hit the deepest point. Length doesn’t create indirect pressure on the G-spot and clitoris the way girth does though.

  • Ashley says:

    I enjoy girth ;) a lot OMG, I know people say you only feel the first few inches that’s B.S. like Svetlana I feel every centimeter. I have only been with thick and long and small average so I don’t have as much experience as she does. Just relax
    and enjoy!!!!

  • Sara says:

    Does your feeling/pleasure with a small average size change after having enjoyed really big thick ones? Do you get somehow the need for more thickness?

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Yes, you always remember what a big one feels like. A small to average-sized penis doesn’t provide as much sensation.

  • Dream says:

    oh- u are so right about that!! love the way a large thick cock fills your ass up and hits your gspot- love it when him fucking your ass makes u squirt some bc of the pressure on your gspot

  • Ashley says:

    It’s very different with a BIG ONE compared to average or small. It’s a totally different experience both vaginally and anal as well don’t expect an average penis to give that sensation. But on the other side it is fun and entertaining knowing you can fell the absolute difference. Sex has been very fun and is a very big part of who I am.

  • Jason says:

    Hey Svetlana, did you do an article on “how big is big?” because that is quite non-specific.

    Perhaps “big” is a comparative thing. At 15cm I have about the same girth as the GF’s wrist, which seems pretty big to her, and 17cm certainly seems long enough, or at least she’s not expressed any interest in something larger. For others 20cm, or 25cm, or 30cm would be considered large.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    I wrote an article “How Long Is the Ideal Penis?” based a survey of women, but you’re correct that it varies from woman to woman.

  • Jessica says:

    I have a question. i have been with a lot of guys and have tried having anal sex with most. Most failed because of the pain. Which means that i have only been penetrsted anally by 5 guys. Three were pretty small and even though they out it in, therenwas a lot of apin at the beginning. Anout a two years ago I had my last experience and this guy was the largest I have had. I would say about 8″ and think. He tried puutting it in and it hurt like crazy so we stopped. We tried again and that time it went in with some pain but nit has much as before. I felt as he stretched me out futher than anyone else before. Onc ehe started tristing it felt amazing and it wasn’t long before i had an orgasm. The problem was afterwards. As he pushed it deeper it started to hurt deep inside. My ass was loose enough tomtwke it by then, but the length was the problem. I don’t know how much of his dick went in but ai am sure he had at least a couple of inches more to go. Is there any tricks to help me get past that limit or is there a limit of how long a dick can be? If not, there must be a trick to swallow a long cock.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    You should use the suggestionsn this article, and you might also squeeze and relax when he is inside, concentrating more on the muscles of the rectum rather than the anus.

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Recent Comments
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Depends on the woman.
  • Fox2: Would that be most probably wouldn’t feel it? I have seen you say elsewhere that less than 5″ means...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Some may, but most probably won’t. For some women in long-term relationships, penetration is...
  • Fox2: Not sure if commenting is working at the moment. Thanks but even though these positions will help maximise my...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: These positions help maximize what you have, whatever that is.
  • Fox: Would these positions help with a penis 4-4.5inches long and around 4inches around? Or do you need to be packing...
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