About Me
I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.
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How to Have a Hands-Free Orgasm

Em & Lo contributor Antonio Reis describes the workshop he attended where he learned how to have an orgasm without sex or masturbation.

It’s a Wednesday evening on the Wesleyan campus, and I’m cutting art history class to attend a workshop lead by Barbara Carellas, author of Urban Tantra, called “How to Have a Genderless Orgasm.” There’s another way to climax? Van Dyck can wait!

When I and about 40 other students enter the open space, we’re instructed to “leave our genitals at the door,” since they won’t be needed in the following exercises. I’m a little disappointed.

We all lie down on our backs with our knees bent as if we’re fully dilated and about to give birth. Then we begin the exercise (and it IS exercise): Breathe in. Tighten abs. Suck some red energy thing into our chakra. Breathe out. Repeat. Again. And again. And again. It’s intense. “Remember those squeezes!” shouts Carellas over the Enya-esque music as I tighten my abs and squeeze my pelvic muscles as if I were suddenly stopping a flow if urine. Read more

2 Responses to How to Have a Hands-Free Orgasm

  • nhe junasa says:

    hi! im nhe,5 yrs. married wid one son. im really annoying to my self because in my 5 yrs married life i dont really enjoy our sex life becausemy husband need to leave us for work and it takes for about years to come back home, and if ever he’s here its just last for a month. and thats why i never enjoyed my sex life eventhough im still young but i dont wanna w8 until im old that “others says” my sex life will be lessen.i do always feel like i want sex, but i dont want other man to be substitute for it. im faithful wife that’s y.wanna try or know how can i please my self alone.

    hope you ccould help me. im totally desperate.

    thank you and more power

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Nhe, I think you’re asking about masturbation. If you haven’t found a way of doing it that satisfies you, here are some ways I like to masturbate: One of my favorite ways is to place my thumb and forefinger on either side of my clitoris and gently roll it between my fingers, I also like to place two fingers directly onto the clitoris, and then rub them in a circular motion around and around. Another thing I really like is to pat or rub my clitoris with one hand and insert one or two fingers of the other hand into my vagina. You can also add sex toys. The Rabbit and the Hitachi Magic Wand are two that I’ve tried and can highly recommend.

    To make masturbation more satisfying, I make an event of it by taking a bath, putting on some perfume, and maybe lighting some candles or incense. I take my time and use my free hand to stroke and caress my breasts, inner thighs, and butt. To get total release, allow yourself to move, rock, or make noise if you feel like it. It’s harder to reach a satisfying climax if you’re afraid to let go (whether by yourself or with a man).

    Nhe, if I’ve misunderstood your question or haven’t answered it, let me know, and I’ll try again.

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