About Me
I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.
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How Does Women’s Desire Turn to Sexual Arousal?

Which comes first, female arousal or the desire to have sex, or is there no difference? Science offers clues, but doesn’t have the answers.

Until a few months ago, I hadn’t pondered female lust, or consider how it differed from its corporeal cousins, desire and arousal. Go ahead and get your guffaws out of the way. Certainly, someone who makes a life out of exploring intimacy should know the distinctions, you are thinking. I sheepishly admit that until the nuances were brought to my attention, I viewed them interchangeably. Shame on me (in a good shame sort of way).

On the other hand, if you’re intrigued and asking if lust is not sexual desire, then what is it? And which comes first, female arousal or the desire to have sex? And how do these change over the course of a woman’s lifetime? Then you’re in the company of a new breed of sexplorators.

The sexually curious are directing their inquisitive lenses to such things as why women lust in the first place, how our sexuality meanders from “hot” to “not,” and why female genitals tell a different story than self-reported levels of arousal. Read more

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Recent Comments
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Depends on the woman.
  • Fox2: Would that be most probably wouldn’t feel it? I have seen you say elsewhere that less than 5″ means...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Some may, but most probably won’t. For some women in long-term relationships, penetration is...
  • Fox2: Not sure if commenting is working at the moment. Thanks but even though these positions will help maximise my...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: These positions help maximize what you have, whatever that is.
  • Fox: Would these positions help with a penis 4-4.5inches long and around 4inches around? Or do you need to be packing...
  • BOB: FUR
  • Svetlana Ivanova: If a woman doesn’t want to please the man she’s with, she’s with the wrong man.
  • Jane Doe: This article not only implies that all men want submissive partners, it tells women to take on a persona....
  • Svetlana Ivanova: It isn’t misogynistic at all. It’s realistic and sex-positive.