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I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.
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Fingering: Pleasuring a Woman with Your Hand

orgasm-faceFingering is a term meaning the manual manipulation of the clitoris, vulva, vagina, or anus for the purpose of sexual arousal and stimulation. Fingering can be the entire sexual encounter, or it may be part of foreplay. To “finger yourself” is to masturbate with your hand. Fingering can be done outside the vagina only, inside the vagina, or around and inside the anus.

Outside the vagina

Massaging the vulva, and in particular the clitoris, is the most common way for a woman to masturbate to orgasm. The clitoris is usually massaged through the skin of the clitoral hood, using up-and-down, side-to-side, or circular motions.The labia and the rest of the genitals are also stimulated by massage and fingering. Fingering a woman the same way she does when she masturbates is probably the most sure-fire method for giving a woman an orgasm. Ask her how she likes it, or let her use her hand to guide you.

Inside the vagina

Fingering inside the vagina is often used to stimulate the G-spot. The G-spot is located about two inches up on the upper wall of the vagina, forwards toward the belly button. It can be recognized by its ridges and slightly rougher texture compared to the more cushion-like vaginal walls around it. However, you will probably not be able to feel the G-spot unless the woman is already sexually aroused.

Some women say the “come hither” technique, which uses the middle finger and sometimes the index finger to make a hand gesture like “come here” with the palm facing upwards against her pubic bone, is effective for stimulating the G-spot. In any case, significant pressure on the G-spot is usually needed to bring a woman to a G-spot orgasm. Shoving the fingers in and out of the vagina to simulate intercourse is usually not an effective way to bring a woman to orgasm. If you choose to do that, be sure the fingers are well-lubricated.

Anal fingering

Fingering the anus can be pleasurable because of the large number of nerve endings in the anal area and because of the stimulation gained from stretching the anal sphincter muscles when inserting one or more fingers. Anal fingering can also stimulate the perineal sponge, which sits between the vagina and rectum. Anal fingering can be used as an act in itself, or as preparation for further anal sex. Anal fingering can arouse a woman, allowing her to relax her anus and prepare her for the insertion of a penis or a sex toy.

Unless only the outer ring of the anus is being massaged, a sexual lubricant is necessary to make insertion of the fingers painless and pleasurable. Also, hands should be washed with soap and warm water before practicing any other sexual activity to avoid spreading bacteria or germs.

Pleasuring a woman with your hand can yield amazing results. Of course, it’s up to you to figure out exactly what your particular woman prefers when it comes to speed, tempo, and amount of fingers. You should encourage her to be vocal about what she likes.

One of the worst things that can happen to any man is not being “sure” if he had given his woman a orgasm. Imagine being so sexually skilled that you can literally give ANY woman orgasms. To discover the secrets to giving your woman the best sex she’s ever had, click here!

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