About Me

I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.

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Tantric Sex

The Shallow-Deep Thrusting Technique

Tantra teacher Al Link explains how to do a Tantra and Kama Sutra technique that brings great pleasure to a woman and helps a man to last.

A superb thrusting technique that brings great pleasure to a woman and helps a man to last is a combination of deep and shallow thrusts. By shallow thrusts we mean your penis only enters 11/2 to 2 inches inside your partner. This first couple of inches is the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina. Deep thrusts mean your penis enters as fully as you can. Read more

Tantric Fellatio: Worshiping the Phallus

All men love fellatio, and many women love giving it, but most of us don’t think of it as a form of worship. It can be, though, says Jennifer Lawless.

In Tantra, the penis is called the lingam, which in Sanskrit can be translated as “Wand of Light.” Worship of the generative organs has been practiced throughout history. Evidence of phallic worship goes back 28,000 years – give or take a few years. One way for a woman to worship her man’s lingam is to create a lingam shrine. Another way is to perform Tantric fellatio.


Begin by slowly taking your man’s lingam into your mouth as deeply as you can. Hold it there for a moment while you appreciate its hardness and length. Then, go on to perform fellatio on his lingam as lovingly as you know how. Remember to maintain eye contact as much as possible. Read more

Oral Sex: The Tantric White Tigress Practices

Tantric sex educator Jaiya talks about how some of the Tantric White Tigress oral sex practices resemble porn clichés, such as the “facial,” and she explains why she doesn’t think they are degrading to women within that tradition.

I take her point that a practice is only degrading if you think it is. For example, Jaiya mentions deep throating, which I don’t consider degrading at all, since I get both emotional and sexual pleasure from doing it. However, I believe the purpose of the facial, whether conscious or subconscious, is to degrade the woman. On the other hand, within the White Tigress tradition, it has a purpose that benefits women. Therefore, if my partner and I were both practitioners, I could accept it in the spirit in which it was given.

Turbo-Charged Tantric Sex

Inspired by ancient Tantric  teachings, Cosmopolitan came up with its own version of Tantric sex: an updated, totally modern, four-step program to tempt, tease, and then thoroughly please.

Imagine: Your man strolls through your front door and announces, “Baby, forget Must-See TV. Tonight, I want to worship your body, massage you head to heel, make love to you on a higher spiritual plane, then provoke an out-of-this-world orgasm so you reach a whole new pleasure plateau.”

Probably, you’d think either you were dreaming or your guy had temporarily lost touch with reality. Well, in the case of tantric sex, you’d essentially be right on both counts. Tantra is the exotic art of prolonging your passion play to reach new levels of lusty satisfaction. “The idea is to build arousal very slowly so you both stay just below the boiling point for as long as possible,” explains Nitya Lacroix, author of The Art of Tantric Sex. “That way you really focus on the full sexual journey — getting turned on, stimulating each of your five senses for maximum passion, harmonizing your sexual rhythms.” The result is an out-of-body bond with your partner plus very physical ecstatic orgasms.

Inspired by the sexual success of these ancient love teachings (who wouldn’t be?), Cosmo came up with its own turbo-charged version of tantra. Here, our updated, totally modern four-step passion program (plus twists on classic tantric moves) to tempt, tease, then thoroughly please. Grab your guy and get ready for a trip toward erotic enlightenment. Read more

Tantric Cunnilingus: Worshiping the Yoni

Is there ianything better than cunnilingus? How about Tantric cunnilingus? Performed the way that Jennifer Lawless describes, the Tantric cunnilingus ritual takes oral sex to a whole new level.

Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vagina. In Tantra, the yoni is a sacred part of the female body, which must be cherished and honored. Yoni worship is a very ancient tradition in India, which is still alive today. Both men and women benefit from yoni worship. It is an honoring and active participation in the dance between cosmic complementary polarities.

Tantric cunnilingus is an act of worship. This sacred, erotic ritual extends far beyond arousal and orgasm. Tantric cunnilingus is a deep, non-verbal communication between lovers, used to balance and harmonize the moods and energy of the couple. Read more

Do Yoga, Improve Your Sex Life

A consistent yoga practice will cultivate greater awareness of your body and any other body you choose to get close to because yoga focuses people on how they feel, which is something they don’t do enough during sex. YourTango explains how to do yoga to improve your sex life.

You spend an hour testing your strength and flexibility in pretzel-like positions. Your skin is slicked with sweat and your heart is pumping. Resting afterward, you feel elated, inspired, and energized. Is it yoga or sex? How about both?

While it’s easy to associate yoga with striking contortions—think scorpion and wheel—the practice can also enhance your intimate encounters (and we’re not just talking flexibility here). That’s because sex and yoga are a divine pairing. Read more

Pompoir: The Art of Milking the Lingam

Pompoir is the art of “milking” a man’s lingam (Sanskrit for penis) with your vaginal muscles during sexual intercourse. Also known as the Singapore kiss, Shanghai kiss, Shanghai squeeze, or the Shanghai grip, the word pompoir originated in India. My post How to Milk Your Man’s Penis with the Vaginal Squeeze explains how to do the technique, and now Jennifer Lawless gives a Tantric version in her post Pompoir: The Art of Milking the Lingam.

Pompoir is the art of “milking” the lingam of your partner with your yoni. (Lingam and yoni are Sanskrit for penis and vagina.) While both partners are still, the woman grips and massages her man’s erection with rhythmic, rippling contractions of the pubococcygeus muscle (PC) and other pelvic floor muscles. (This rippling effect also happens during an intense orgasm in a woman.) The rippling causes a kind of milking action that can be felt by the lingam.

A woman trained in the art of pompoir is called a Kabbazah in the Middle East. The word Kabbazah translates to “one who holds.” Men say that pompoir feels like having a warm, soft, wet, velvet-gloved hand wrapped around their lingam, firmly gripping it and stroking them into the most delicious sexual nirvana they have ever experienced. Read more

Recent Comments

  • Svetlana Ivanova: Depends on the woman.
  • Fox2: Would that be most probably wouldn’t feel it? I have seen you say elsewhere that less than 5″ means...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: Some may, but most probably won’t. For some women in long-term relationships, penetration is...
  • Fox2: Not sure if commenting is working at the moment. Thanks but even though these positions will help maximise my...
  • Svetlana Ivanova: These positions help maximize what you have, whatever that is.
  • Fox: Would these positions help with a penis 4-4.5inches long and around 4inches around? Or do you need to be packing...
  • BOB: FUR
  • Svetlana Ivanova: If a woman doesn’t want to please the man she’s with, she’s with the wrong man.
  • Jane Doe: This article not only implies that all men want submissive partners, it tells women to take on a persona....
  • Svetlana Ivanova: It isn’t misogynistic at all. It’s realistic and sex-positive.