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You may think your sexual relationship with your woman is great, but the fact is that there may be something that she wishes you did – would love you to do – but is too self-conscious to ask for. Jessica Wakeman comes to your rescue with five moves women love in bed, but may be too afraid to ask for, and tells you how to ask her what she wants.

I’ve never been afraid to ask for what I want in bed. I guess because during my teenage years I figured out I was/am a perv and I just owned it. But in my decade-plus of hooking up with dudes, I’ve come to see being clear about what I want is a bit rare: Guys have told me other women become self-conscious when asking for something risqué or kinky.

So, I’m going to help you out, boys. Here are some things your lady might want, but she’s too self-conscious to ask for. Don’t pressure anything, of course — but if you offer, you may be pleasantly surprised at how enthusiastically she accepts …

1. She wants you to eat her out more: Our culture has a weird relationship with vag, if you haven’t noticed. Your lady has likely been exposed to a lot of lame-o messages telling her that her vag is “too hairy,” “too smelly,” “tastes gross,” “ugly,” etc. She might really love getting oral sex, but she’s afraid to ask you to do it because she’s afraid you’ve internalized the same messages that she has. Read more

Esquire sex columnist Stacey Grenrock Woods reveals thirteen sex secrets men don’t know about women. Here are a couple of my favorites:

A clean apartment will get you more tail than you’d think.

Oftentimes, women simply want to lie back and get laid. Read more

Want to spice it up in the bedroom? Redbook gives 26 good sex tips — one for each letter of the alphabet.

Hey, married couples — want to spice it up in the bedroom? F is for free-ranging fingertips…K is for kissing, Hollywood-style…N is for naughty videos! If you want to know how to have good sex, read on for more tips — one for each letter of the alphabet. Read more

Stripper Bubbles Burbujas explains what men and woman should and should not do at a strip club.

Stupid mainstreaming of stripper culture. If I have to read another article about recession strippers, pole dancing classes, or strippers-turned-respectable-citizens, I’m going to throw my platforms at the cat. Our audience has changed, and instead of show behavior being learned by a young man on the occasion of his 18th or 21st birthday, it’s imparted from Auto-Tuned vocals and lists on the web. I’ve seen customers like the girl who slapped my ass so hard she bruised me, or the guy who threw quarters wrapped in dollar bills onto the stage. However, I assume ignorance before malice on their part, and, in that spirit, I offer these etiquette tips for customers in the strip club.

WOMEN

1. Relax. I’m here for your entertainment. I have exactly zero interest in your date/boyfriend/husband. His wallet interests me, and, to access it, I’ll be interested in keeping you happy and in the club. Don’t look at strippers as adversaries, but rather as fun boner facilitators! If you don’t want to come to the club in the first place, stand up for yourself at home and make it clear to your lesser half that he should come up with a better idea for a wacky date. Read more

Your desires are legitimate. Your request to have your desires fulfilled is legitimate. Sinclair Sexsmith suggest five ways to make it happen.

… Here we are at the beginning of a new year, a natural place to take stock in what we have and what we lack. So that’s my question to you: Do you want to improve your sex life, your connection to yourself, your connections to others? What kind of sex are you having? What kind do you wish you were having? Perhaps you can’t even quite articulate an answer, just feel a bubbling up profound thick YES coming through it all.

Think about this: Read more

The Frisky asked its readers to submit their top secret sex tip, and the winner was… sleeping nude.

Last Friday, we asked you what top-secret tip makes your bedroom romps so amazing in exchange for the season one and two DVDs of Showtime’s “Secret Diary of A Call Girl” and the book the series was based on. You had some sage advice (don’t worry, we’ll share the exhaustive reader wisdom next week), but Alex’s answer made so much sense to us that we think we might have to give up pajamas for good: Read more

According to Mina Azodi, the most useful thing to come out of your man’s mouth isn’t his tongue. It’s the sounds he makes. Find out what a man’s grunting, moaning, and swearing really mean.

THE GRUNTER

What he sounds like: “Ugh…ugh… ugh…ugh…ugggh”

What it means: This macho guy is intense and focused, if a little bland. “He’s goal-oriented and all business when it comes to making you climax,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, author of Pleasuring: The Secrets of Sexual Satisfaction. You see, all that he-man grunting indicates he’s worried about peaking before you reach your happy place. “Men may make that noise because they’re clenching their muscles and holding their breath, trying to stave off orgasm,” Fulbright says.

Your move: If you think he’s going caveman on you to stop himself from climaxing, “help him regain control by slowing the pace if you’re on top or even stopping and just kissing for a few minutes,” says Fulbright. Wish he would say more? Encourage him to string together a few sexy phrases by asking questions like “If you could do anything to me right now, what would it be?” Read more

Greta Christina explores the question of watching porn while in a monogamous relationship. Is it cheating?

In a monogamous relationship, is it reasonable to expect your partner to not watch porn?

There was a recent letter to Scarleteen, the sex advice and information site for teenagers and young people. In this letter, the querant was upset because her boyfriend (a) watched porn, and (b) would soon be going on a road trip with his buddies in which he might be getting lap dances. The querant was upset about this — partly because she was a feminist who thought these activities were sexist, and partly because it triggered insecurities about her own body and made her feel inadequate.

Scarleteen’s reply? Feminism doesn’t automatically mean you’re anti-porn — there’s a wide range of feminist views about pornography — and enjoying porn doesn’t automatically make you sexist. When it comes to the details of your relationship and the agreements you make about sexual activity outside it — from porn/ lap dances/ other sexual entertainment to flat-out non-monogamy — you need to decide what would be your ideal, what would be on your “absolutely not” list, and what you’re willing to compromise on. And you need to recognize that your partner has as much right to their version of this list as you do to yours — and then see if you can negotiate a common ground.

Which sounds perfectly reasonable at first.

And then I started thinking about it. Read more

Men tend to get a bad rap when it comes to understanding women’s bodies and what turns us on, making them easy targets in the blame game when sexual satisfaction starts to wane. Sure, men make their fair share of bedroom errors, but women make crucial sex mistakes of their own, says Quester Peech.

When sex isn’t all that great or your sex life gets into a rut, partners often end up blaming each other. Women often make some common sex mistakes that ruin their satisfaction and sometimes the relationship too. Read on to know more about what you are doing wrong, or simply not doing at all.

You always worry about what you look like in bed

If you tend to think more about looking your best while having sex, you are ruining your enjoyment and your partner’s too. You are also hurting your chances of having a pleasurable orgasm if you are constantly worried about your tummy fat or messing up your make-up. Therapists advise focusing on the sexual act to the exclusion of everything else for the best sex of your life. Men want their partners to surrender themselves to sex play and are put off by what they perceive as lack of interest or narcissism. Besides, men are more likely to think about the fun they are having at the moment rather than the wrinkles on their partner’s face. If you are energetic, flexible and enthusiastic about sex, your partner isn’t likely to notice anything else. Read more

Now that men know the Top 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman, it’s time for women to learn ten things we should never say to a man. This one’s my favorite because it so perfectly illustrates how a man can’t win no matter how he answers (and all  but the most slow-witted or naive men know it).

4) “Do You Think She’s Pretty?”

When you ask a question like this, your boyfriend knows he can’t win.

If he says “yes,” you’ll probably get jealous and upset. You might even follow up with “Is she prettier than me?” Talk about a loaded question!

Of course, if he says “no” (and she clearly is pretty), you’ll accuse him of being a liar. You’ll wonder what else he’s lying about, even as you assure him you don’t mind if he says “yes.” Pfff…as if you’re that insecure!

Has he managed to convince you that he genuinely doesn’t find her attractive at all? You’ll wonder what his bad taste says about you. Read more

See?