Can Watching Porn Be Cheating?

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Greta Christina explores the question of watching porn while in a monogamous relationship. Is it cheating?

In a monogamous relationship, is it reasonable to expect your partner to not watch porn?

There was a recent letter to Scarleteen, the sex advice and information site for teenagers and young people. In this letter, the querant was upset because her boyfriend (a) watched porn, and (b) would soon be going on a road trip with his buddies in which he might be getting lap dances. The querant was upset about this — partly because she was a feminist who thought these activities were sexist, and partly because it triggered insecurities about her own body and made her feel inadequate.

Scarleteen’s reply? Feminism doesn’t automatically mean you’re anti-porn — there’s a wide range of feminist views about pornography — and enjoying porn doesn’t automatically make you sexist. When it comes to the details of your relationship and the agreements you make about sexual activity outside it — from porn/ lap dances/ other sexual entertainment to flat-out non-monogamy — you need to decide what would be your ideal, what would be on your “absolutely not” list, and what you’re willing to compromise on. And you need to recognize that your partner has as much right to their version of this list as you do to yours — and then see if you can negotiate a common ground.

Which sounds perfectly reasonable at first.

And then I started thinking about it. Read more

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3 Responses to “Can Watching Porn Be Cheating?”

  1. Inferno Says:

    The idea of watching porn being cheating is just crazy.
    Is watching a Rambo movie going to war? Or is it being violent?

    As for the feminist views about pornography…
    many are true, but mostly outdated.
    Now days a lot of porn is made by female owned companies.
    Women are slowely taking over the industry. They have the power.

  2. CS Says:

    Read More link is broken should be.

    http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/greta-christina-can-watching-porn-be-cheating/1215

  3. Svetlana Ivanova Says:

    Greta Christina agrees. She says watching porn is not cheating.

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About Me
I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. My sexual history and preferences are detailed in my post 100 Things about Me Sexually. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor.
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