About Me
I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.
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Bush or No Bush: That Is the Question

This past summer, porn star Sasha Grey appeared on Entourage, which seems to be a male version of Sex in the City. What set the internet abuzz was that Grey appeared naked with an, OMG, unshaven vagina. Opinion about her fashion statement was definitely divided.

Sasha Grey’s appearance on Entourage inspired my boyfriend to ask me to grow my own pubic hair out (which proves that some men take porn way too seriously).  I had only been completely bare down there for a few years, so going “natural” was no big deal to me. Apparently, we will all be going back to hairy vaginas because Cosmo has declared it to be the “in” sexy style down there for women.

I’ve since dumped my boyfriend. (Among his chief faults was that he thought that porn is an instructional guide. I’ll have my facials at a spa, thank you.) However, I’m thinking of keeping the bush. I must admit it’s nice to not having had to hack at it with a razor for the last couple of months, and, of course, if Cosmo is right, and hairy vaginas are “in,” I want to be stylish. Looking like a woman again instead of a prepubescent girl is nice, too.

So what do you think? Hot or not? Sexy or not sexy? Bush or no bush? Should I have dumped my new pubic hair style along with my boyfriend? Will having a hairy vagina keep me from finding a new and better boyfriend?

32 Responses to Bush or No Bush: That Is the Question

  • Hi Sveta,
    As a dating strategy, you should probably trim up or shave. No point in accidentally turning off a man, who otherwise might be a keeper. You can always grow your bush back once you’re in a relationship.

  • I disagree with Jennifer. Your “bush” can be part of your screening process. Who would want a man for whom a woman’s natural public hair is a dealbreaker?

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Both of you have good points. That’s why I’m still undecided. Cat, maybe I should become a feminist and quit shaving my underarms and legs, too. That would really act as a screening process lol.

  • That’s funny, Svetlana, but if any woman could still attract men, even with hairy underarms and legs, it’s you :).

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    I’m not so sure, Cat. I might end up looking like an orangutan ;).

  • Eammon says:

    I have only been with one woman and she is my wife. In our 35 years of marriage, she is natural and trims for me. I asked her to trim several years ago so that when I please he orally I dont end up with a lot of hair in my mouth. I have viewed sites that have shaved woman. It doesnt do a lot for me as I think they could be little girls with breasts. I think hair brings a certain allure to the mix. If I were in the dating arena having hair or not wouldnt be a deal breaker. I believe it is a fad. We know they come and go. Just my opinion

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Trimming is definitely good. Not only is hair in the mouth a turn-off, but so is stray hair outside your bikini or underwear. The bare look is definitely a fad though I doubt that the 70s Madonna look will ever come back.

  • Paladin says:

    Be a trendsetter, Svetlana. A neat, natural bush isn’t going to turn off any man unless he’s an idiot. Ixnay on the hairy underarms and legs, though ;).

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Bill, you sound like some of the feminists who get upset when someone uses vagina as a synonym for vulva. If I used the term vulva, I’m afraid some of my readers might not know what I was talking about.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    When society at large quits using vagina for vulva, I’ll be first in line to change, but until that glorious day comes….

  • A Stranger says:

    I’ve always found the shaving thing to be pretty strange – as if she’s trying to be the internet rather than real life. I really, truly don’t have fantasies about 11 year old girls and I have zero interest in women who try to be one.

    Hygiene, yeah. Smooth, velevety shaved legs, mmmm. Imitating a blow-up doll, NO!

    oh… I’m a straight single guy… this being the internet one has to spell things out.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    At least there are still a few normal men out there.

  • Eammon says:

    Let me chime in again. I think that womens pubic hair is sexy. However, it must be done right, in other words trimmed so as not to be shaggy. I dont like it too short either. If it is, it becomes like my face when I need a shave. My wife doesnt like it when orally please her when I need a shave. It irritates her crotch and inner thighs. I am the same way with her pubic hair. Keep it long enough to be soft but short enough not to be brissly. To me, nothing looks sexier than a nude woman with hair and large areolas. It doesnt matter if they sag. Older women have it.

  • A Stranger says:

    Sv –

    Re your next boyfriend, I wouldn’t worry about it. If you’re into each other, those details will work themselves out.

    Personally, I believe that if he loses interest immediately bc you haven’t shaved then he spends to much time on the net and doesn’t quite get that there’s an actual woman attached to the parts he’s interested in.

    I don’t think you have to worry about being dateable. You have something hot to offer: you actually like men (at least that’s the impression I get). Cut the possible dating field down to the 20% or so of men who actually like women beyond needing to use a few parts, show off in public or reassure themselves in front of the mirror and you’ll find someone worth keeping.

    Back to topic. Sensitive, delicate skin next to, m, special hair is erotic. There’s much more to say on the subject… but what matters, and all that matters, is what makes both you and your guy feel good.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Large areolas are striking, aren’t they? I used this photo (not of me, I’m sorry to say) to accompany a post. Oh well, I have the hair, anyway.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    I do like men, but I agree with you that not that many men really like women. Twenty percent might be a little low, but it’s certainly not a majority. In general, I find that a man’s interest in televised sports is inversely proportional to his interest in women- outside of sex.

  • A Stranger says:


    Spot on. OTOH, after a co-worker provided some background on the rules and risks I could see some value in a football game Some.

    But watching a bunch of sweaty grunting guys in uniforms … I don’t understand what I’m supposed to find interesting about that.

  • Jason says:

    Comparing shaved, trimmed, or “natural” I’d say I like shaved for the visuals, I’m okay with trimmed, and “natural” doesn’t really do much for me. I keep myself trimmed (shaved shaft and sack), so expect at least the same courtesy in return. That said, the fiancée isn’t overly hairy even when she hasn’t trimmed in a while.

    As for liking women, I guess I’m one of the 20%. However as a group women can be somewhat bewildering. They have so many moods, and they switch like the weather. I don’t like watching sport either now I think about it.

    +1 for large areola and breasts in general.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    I have nothing at all against spectator sports. Going to a big sporting event can be a lot of fun with the crowds and excitement. I’ve made the trip back to Gainesville a few times to watch the Gators myself. I’m talking about the men who spend all weekend in front of the TV watching football game after football game.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    I guess that was the style back then, Moira :). Mine doesn’t look anything like hers, though.

  • A Stranger says:

    Maybe I’m in a minority on this issue – shaving all isn’t attractive to me. Takes away something to play with…

    Madonna looks great in that photo, pretty much how women looked for the 10,000 years before razor blades. There was nothing fake about her, no plastic, no new and improved via surgery, no injections, she’s all real woman. I could do without underarm hair tho.

    I think what matters is for a couple to have enough attraction and affection for each other that they work it between them. Style it for the guy you’re with, not for fashion.

  • Jason says:

    People have been removing their hair since at least the time of the ancient Egyptians.

    Sometimes it’s a comfort thing, as in very hot climates, sometimes it’s a fashion thing as for Greek athletes. “Natural” isn’t necessarily good. Three days beard growth has me reaching for the razor.

    That said, I’m not a fan of plastic surgery. Reconstruction after an operation or disfiguring injury is good, but people who change their body in order to reach some perceived standard of attractiveness usually end up losing whatever they had.

  • Steve says:

    I prefer smooth.

    The one good point about fur is that it holds the smell better – makes it all the more enjoyable to eat her out when it tastes and smells like vag.

    Still, I prefer the smooth majora and mons against my cheeks

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    When it comes to cunnilingus (and I love getting cunnilingus), I can definitely see that smooth is better.

  • jim says:

    I am in favor of trimmed. Alittle friction is a good thing, and it does not get in the way of oral sex. It almost makes it better. A little patch holds the juices, and let’s admit it, they taste incredible. (Otherwise we would’nt be going down in the first place!)

  • Jim says:

    The question yet remain, how trimmed, or not, does one expect a man to be? I do think that everyone should trim or shve, just to keep anything from getting caught between ones teeth!Or from catching on a zipper if one goes commando, as does occur from time to time, for men and women…

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    It’s up to the man, but I know that I won’t lick or suck hairy balls. I also like the hair right around the base of the penis shaved so that my lips don’t touch pubic hair when I’m deep throating.

  • Name larry says:

    im 53 and i shave my balls cock and crotch clean i love it its so clean and smooooooth

  • Mike says:

    My wife has a beautiful full red bush that I have always love. The first time I went down on her when she was 17 made me so horny for her. It made her so wild and fertile. She trims it but I just love it nice and full.

  • Ed Butt says:

    Keep the fuzz every time. What kind of a man wants a lover who looks like a prepubescent girl. Anyway a bush is good to look at, a lot of love lips especially in more mature ladies, aren’t quite so visually appealing

  • Steve2 says:

    I think on girls of all ages, hairy (but trimmed) is always better. Especially for oral sex!

  • BOB says:


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