Analingus: The Dark Kiss
Analingus, also known as the “dark kiss” or rimming, is oral stimulation of the anus. For many people, analingus is a sensuous experience, both on the giving and the receiving end. Some say there is nothing as arousing as having their lover’s warm, soft tongue and lips giving them pleasure in such an incredibly intimate place, and those who love to give it find the experience equally as arousing. Because the delicate pucker of the anus is packed with sensitive nerve endings, analingus can produce exquisite, erotic sensations.
Analingus can also be a great introduction to the sensation of anal penetration. For men and women who enjoy being penetrated, this is a delicious tease for the main course to come, and for men who aren’t sure about penetration, with analingus they can comfortably try out the sensation of anal stimulation to see if they might like it.
Cleanliness is even more of a issue with analingus than with traditional oral sex. Taking a bath or shower together is a relaxing form of foreplay and will allow your partner to get squeaky clean. You or your partner should thoroughly soap the butt and anus, inserting a finger into the rectum, and rinsing thoroughly with warm water.
The easiest position for analingus is doggie-style with the receiver on all fours. This way you can gently spread their cheeks with your hands, and see everything clearly as you dip your tongue in and out. Doggie-style licking also provides a fantastic rear view, and allows you to squeeze, rub, and pull on other areas as you lick. Those receivers with lower back pain or mobility issues can simulate the doggie position by lying on their stomachs with pillows under their hips, comfortably raising their butts for optimal licking.
With the delicate pucker of the anus in full view, gently kiss and lick their cheeks as they slope inwards toward the crack. Work your way closer into the furrow, taking your time to let them get used to the sensation, or to tease them if you know they like it. You can have your partner reach back and pull their own ass cheeks apart, which will greatly help you and make it less tiring and easier for you to lick.
You can make your first touch of the anus in several ways:
- With softened lips, kiss it directly.
- With the very tip of your tongue, lightly lick in a circle around the rim of the opening – “rimming” them.
- Lick the entire furrow with a big, flat tongue from top to bottom like an ice cream cone.
- Press your flattened tongue against the opening and hold it, and then slowly start to move it in an up and down or an in and out massage.
You can start with one of these and try them all out to see what they like. Since different people like different techniques, experiment with the ones below also to see which your partner enjoys the most.
- Flicking: Gently flick the tip of the tongue across the outer rim of the anus.
- Ringing the Bell: Push your tongue against the anus, and then remove it, as though you were ringing a doorbell.
- Licking: Use your full tongue to lick completely across the anus.
- Probing: Insert the tongue as far into the anus as you can, then probe around with the tip. After a bit of gentle probing, the sphincter muscles should start to relax and welcome deeper exploration.
Many people won’t orgasm by anal sex alone, so you should keep analingus fairly brief or keep them stimulated in some other way at the same time.
Analingus is one of the most intimate of all sexual acts. If both partners approach it with openness and enthusiasm, they will be rewarded with unparalleled enjoyment whether analingus is the main course, a spicy side dish, or an appetizer for anal penetration.
My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.