9 Sex Rules Women Should Break
Lemondrop debunks nine commonly swallowed sexual misconceptions. Here’s one myth that limits women’s sex lives:
… 6. You Have to Be “In the Mood” to Do It
For anyone who’s ever had a hard time getting in the groove — for any reason — this is going to come as welcome news. The latest research on female sexuality focuses on “mindfulness.” In other words, experts have found that, while women might be natural-born Harlequin writers once we get going, it’s harder for us to get there in the first place. “A lot of women have a hard time turning off the day, whether it’s what their boss did or whatever is due tomorrow. Transitioning from non-sexual
to sexual is hard,” says Louanne Cole Weston, PhD, a sex therapist based in California.
What to try tonight: 1) What Weston calls “transitions.” It might mean a long hot bath or a short massage. “They’re little acts that allow women to fully be there during sex as opposed to being persuaded into it,” she says. And 2) the mindfulness part: When you’re actually in bed, and your brain is still in overdrive, try breathing in and out, focusing on your breath, then honing in on the silkiness of the sheets, the smoothness of his skin, or the taste of the dark-chocolate-dipped strawberries he’s lovingly feeding you. (What?!) This careful attention to sensual detail can be what it takes to get you in the mood — even if you thought that’s the last place you wanted to be. Read more