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I came to the U.S. at age of 12 with my mother. We settled in sunny Florida, which was quite a contrast to Minsk. I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. Sex Secrets is where I share sex advice, experiences, news, and sometimes a little humor. If you have a question about sex that you prefer not to post in the comments, you can email me at svetlanaivano(at)yahoo.com.
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5 Steps to Perfect Cunnilingus

female_orgasm_bCunnilingus is the act of using the mouth to stimulate the female genitals. This can include sucking or licking the outer and inner areas of the vagina and direct stimulation of the clitoris. A recent study showed that twice as many women orgasm from oral sex as from intercourse. Cunnilingus performed well will endear you to her like nothing else can. Follow these five steps for performing perfect cunnilingus on your woman.

1) Hands first. Spend some time kissing her lips, shoulders, breasts, and stomach. Stroke her lightly with your fingertips. Run your finger up and down between her labia, but don’t insert a finger. Instead, slowly tantalize her opening just a bit. Gently squeeze and pull on her lips. Use your hands to grab and caress her thighs, her tummy, and her pelvic arch. Tease her with your hands. Stimulate her as much as possible without directly touching her clitoris.

Many women enjoy a massage of the mons. The mons pubis (Latin, pubic mound) is the mound of skin on top the pubic bone above the vaginal opening. Take one or both of your hands and carefully move the mons and surrounding area much the same way you would massage someone’s shoulders. Be careful not to press too hard or make too wide a circular movement.

2) Add your tongue. Move down between her legs and gently kiss, blow, stroke and nibble her belly, inner thighs and hips. Gently spread her legs and kiss her pubic mound. Nuzzle around for a few minutes, spending time with the different parts of her vulva. Flatten your tongue and use wide slow strokes to explore her inner and outer lips, her vagina, and her clitoris. Imagine licking an ice cream cone. Start at the perineum and lick up and around her clitoris and back down the other side. Lick up and down her labia, in the middle, around her opening. Pay attention to her lips. Slowly suck them in. Use your fingers at the same time to caress her, to open her up. Pay attention to her breathing. When she breathes faster, she’s enjoying herself more. Take note of what she likes and repeat it.

3) Go for the clitoris. Once you know she’s aroused (i.e. if she’s told you or motioned so), you can then move to the clitoris. Give her clitoris a little lick, move back to other areas again, and then go back up and gently suck her clitoris into your mouth. Continue licking and sucking in various patterns. In general, women tend to like firm pressure and repetitive motion. Quick tongue flicks against the clitoris can be irritating. Hold her legs open like you are diving in and have to get every inch of her. Being exposed like this makes most women feel very, very sexy and aroused.

4) Use your fingers. When you sense that your partner is getting closer to orgasm, it’s time to return to finger play. Here are four techniques to try.

  • Fingers holding the vagina open. Holding the vaginal lips open makes the clitoris more taut and, thereby, more sensitive. Many women hold their own vaginal lips open when masturbating for this very reason. You can do this with one hand or two. If you use one hand, use the other to feel her tummy, breasts, or thighs. Hold her vagina open and just pay attention to the clitoris, remembering to alternate licking and sucking as well as taking a short break from the direct clitoral pressure to lick up and down her inner crease.
  • Fingers on the clitoris. Many women love a finger or a thumb on the clitoris during oral sex. This is not to say you should stop licking. Just vary your technique to use your finger or thumb as the main stimulator, and then move your tongue around the other areas. This is a good technique if you are getting tired, and she is close to orgasm.
  • Fingers in. Women often enjoy the feeling of penetration during oral sex. When fingering your partner, remember that not all women like four fingers in–at least not at first–so begin with two. Make sure she is lubricated enough (and by now she should be) and slowly insert two fingers into her vagina. This should cause her to gasp with pleasure. Run your fingers around her inner vaginal walls. If she is receptive, use another finger. Gently move your fingers in and out of her vagina as you lick and caress her clitoris. Ask her what speed works for her. Faster, slower, more fingers, or less: pleasing her is your objective here.
  • Go for the G-spot. While you are fingering your partner, you might want to attempt to stimulate her G-spot. This little spot is on the upper (tummy) side of her vaginal wall, about 2-3 inches in. When you hit this spot, it will feel spongy and rougher than the rest of her vaginal wall. If you have your fingers in palm side up and rub on this spot HARD, she will likely gasp with intense pleasure. Even if she doesn’t have a G-spot orgasm right then, it’s nice to try and will feel good to her regardless.

5) Bring her to orgasm. When you hear rapid, heavy breathing and feel her body start to tense up, whatever you do, don’t stop doing what you’re doing. She’s probably about to have an orgasm. Begin to lick harder, suck in her clitoris, and use your fingers in her vagina to give her the insertion she wants. Press her legs more open and keep stimulating her. When she begins to orgasm, you will feel a contracting of her PC muscles and most likely an increase in lubrication. Continue to stimulate and hold her while she climaxes. Be warned: women can have much longer orgasms than men and can experience waves of orgasms that last several minutes. Let her enjoy herself and continue to stimulate her until she lets you know you can stop.

Remember that every woman’s body is different. What one woman loves, another woman hates. Talk to your partner about what she likes and dislikes. The more comfortable you are discussing cunnilingus, the more you’ll enjoy performing it, but the best way to excel at cunnilingus is lots of practice. Fortunately, your partner should be more than happy to help out.

Oral sex done right can take a woman to new heights of sexual pleasure, but cunnilingus is a delicate skill, requiring knowledge and technique to get it right. To discover the oral sex secrets to make her climax more often, even if she’s never had an orgasm before, click here!.

5 Responses to 5 Steps to Perfect Cunnilingus

  • Nice post!

  • Adam says:

    I do not know if I should write this, but here is also a good tip:
    http://www.my-sex-guide.com/sex-tips-perfect-cunnilingus.html

  • Hank Scorpio says:

    This is all exceptionally good advice. Going down on a woman is a delicate balancing act. On the one hand, whatever you do, you have to do with confidence and conviction. But on the other hand, you have to respond to how she responds.

    One suggestion I have is that before you go down on her, spend some time using your hand to play with her while your face is up near hers. Try a few different moves, different pressures, different speeds, and watch her face for reactions. If she likes a gentle touch with the fingers, chances are that’s what she’s want with your tongue.

    Finally, you mentioned licking up from the perineum and then circle around the clit. This is a great move that more men need to know about because it helps to stimulate the clit without making it more sensitive because there is no direct pressure on it.

    To take this up a notch, repeat that move 5 -10 times, then when get back to the perineum, stop and hold there for a few seconds.

    Then start licking back up VERY VERY slowly and with more firm pressure, pressing as much of your tongue against her as you can, but not pressing with the tip – using the surface of the tongue instead.

    As your tongue slides up, it will start to drag so that eventually it will be pressed up against the bottom side of the clit. Stay here for at least 10 seconds or as long as you feel is appropriate. Then, as slowly and with the same pressure, start to drag your tongue in a circle around the clit and then back down.

    Then repeat the initial move another 5 times or so.

    The sudden change in speed and pressure, as well as the pressure of the tongue on the bottom of the clit and the stillness will drive her insane.

    Hope my contributions are appreciated.

  • Svetlana Ivanova says:

    Thanks, for the additional tips and techniques. Definitely appreciated.

  • Thanks for ur deatils

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